My Black Blood Flows
by Janie JuneBug
Summary: Edwar... I opened my eyes and saw everything from a new angle. A vampire's angle. Rated T for cursing, violence, and some adult themes & situations.
1. Prologue

**Please note that this story will contain some OOC-ness (for rookies, that means Out Of Character-ness... i just add the 'ness' part because... well, because i'm me)**

**I would also like to appologize for any spelling mistakes I make. I don't have a spell check on this program, so I will try my best to shuffle around.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any songs/poems/books/or passages mentioned and/or used in this story. **

**Caution! Beware, this story contains _New Moon_ spoilers!**

The wind flew through my hair, stinging my eyes and drying my throat. I didn't dare look behind me. I guess it was because a part of me was still hoping it was the anti-deppressants making my mind all loopy. My min, however, seemed to need independant conformation because my head turned right around. Just as my neck turned, my show caught something and I fell to the ground. I laid there for a spilt-second, almost giving into the bliss of laying on the cold, wet ground. My body ached unbeleivingly. My heart was pounding in my ears and my chest felt heavy.

_Run! _The voice in the back of my head called. _Run for your life!_ I pulled myself to my knees weakly. I couldn't run anymore, I knew I couldn't get away. I was lost in the woods. Nobody would ever find me.

_I'm sorry,_ I thought sadly. _I can't, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me._ I heard footsteps behind me. This is the end of the road.

_Damn it, Bella, run!_ Tears began to gather in my eyes, not that they woudl have been visible in the pouring rain. Suddenly, I was yanked back painfully by my hair. I screamed in pain and I was thrown through the air and into a tree. The tree shattered and I felt a pain that was unimaginable. My arm had taken most of the impact. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at it. I let out an anguished cry as I saw my shoulder out of it's socket and purtruding forward. Blood seeped through my shirt, the smell making me nauseous even in the rain. My eyes were closed and stinging with tears. I felt cold breath on my neck and I let out a sob.

"Mate for mate." She whispered venemously. Her lips were on my neck, and then I felt her teeth sink into my neck, tearing at my flesh. I brought my hands up and fisted at her long red hair. Punching and pulling as much as I could. She didn't move. I began to feel weak and tired. My thrashing slowed until my hands fell to my sides and my eyes felt droopy. My vision blurred as she pulled back and stood. I only saw her vague sillhouette. "Good-bye, Isabella." She said begrudingly. And then she was gone.

"Victori...a." And then my world closed around my body, swallowing me up into the darkness.

I opened my eyes and looked down. A dark-haired girl lay there on the ground, blood soaking through her clothes. She looked so fragile. My eyes widened in realization. That girl... that girl was _me!_ But if she was me... then who was I? Was I... _dead?_

My thoughts were interupted as a scream ripped through the air. It was my scream. My body was thrashing and my eyes were wide in pain. One scream after another. So I wasn't dead then.

I was changing.

I crossed my legs and propped my head on my arm as I watched myself convulse. So this is what happens when you change, I thought. And Edward said it was painful.

_Human memories are the first to go._

No... I thought. Please, don't let me forget. Please... I was begging to nobody now.

_Edward, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie._

_Edward, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie._

_Edward, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie._

_Edward... Alice... Carlisle... Esme... Emmet... Rosalie..._

_Edward... Alice... Carlisle... Esme... Rosalie..._

_Edward... Carlisle... Rosalie..._

_Edward... Carlisle..._

_Edward..._

_Edward..._

_Edward..._

_Edwar..._

I opened my eyes, and viewed the world from a whole new angle.

A vampire's angle.

**Yes, I realize this was very short, but it's only the prologue. Don't kill me.**

**Review!**

**Pllllzzzzz!**


	2. Animal

**Wheeee the second chapter!**

**hope you ppl like it!**

**Questions:**

**Q: Who was chasing Bella?**

**A: If you haven't figured out the answer to this one... well, then you're pretty retarted. To answer it, it was Victoria.**

**Q: Where was Edward?**

**A: That will be explained in time, for now, be patient.**

**Q: Did Bella forget the Cullens?**

**A: sigh This is a question everybody is asking me. No, she didn't forget them. In the begging, I was going to have her forget them, but I decided against that. SHE DID NOT FORGET THEM! The point is that as she lay there, changing, the only thing she was concerned about was holding onto teh memory of them. Satisfied?**

**Q:What did I mean by New Moon spoilers?**

**A: Yes, this question takes place AFTER New Moon. You will soon see how that falls into place. I can't exactly put a cate as to when it will, but it will happen sooner rather than later.**

**Q: Why did Bella's thoughts go by so fast?**

**A: Because when you're dead or dissembodied, time is nothing and flies by as casually as a minute (so they say)**

**Q: Who is 'they'?**

**A:... I have to refrain from answering that to protect the identities of important individuals.**

**Thanks especially to Lily Cullen. I value my readers thoughts and critiques because their views are so important to me. Lily Cullen was the first to speak out and I appreaciate that.**

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_Somebody get me through this nightmare._

_I can't control myself._

_So what if you can see_

_The dark inside of me._

_No one will ever change this animal I have become._

_Help me believe_

_It's not the real me._

_Somebody help me tame this animal._

**_The Animal I Have Become- Three Days Grace_**

It had been six years, this very day since I had woken up in the forest, cold, wet, and empty. My heart no longer beat within me. I was since ruled by a hunger, festering deep within me. A hunger I worked so hard to control. It was almost as though another person lived inside of me. A separate personality. A separate Bella.

Bella...

Nobody called me that anymore. I didn't want to be called Bella anymore, because I wasn't Bella. Bella would never harm innocent people. Bella wasn't a monster.

I lived as Isabella now. I belonged to no clan or coven, I was just a lone soul. Occasionally I would mingle with others of my kind, but I never stayed. Many had asked me to join them, the Volturi especially. Aro seemed... _fascinated_ by my gift. My gift, among other things. Other things like the fact that my hair and nails still continued to grow although my body was dead. Other things like how I was still able to cry.

Things I had gotten used to and gotten past.

I had declined to join the Volturi, with only one request: never tell the Cullens of my existence. He had agreed, saying I always had a place in his coven. The only human I ever interracted with was Maravilla, a young mother who worked at the blood bank. Once a week I would arrive in the back and she would hand me that little packet filled with what kept me going. Our agreement was one packet for one question. I allowed her to ask one question and I was always forced to answer it. They were the usual questions, questions I most likely would have asked.

_Do you sleep in a coffin?_

**_No._**

_Can you turn into a bat?_

**_Pure myth._**

_Do you have a reflection?_

**_Of course I do._**

_...Have you ever met Dracula?_

**_As a matter of fact, I have a date with him tomorrow night._**

Other than her questions, we never spoke. I suppose I was what you would call an antisocial vampire. Completely unlike Bella, yet more or so like Bella. Only subtract the shyness and add the bad attitude. Nobody found it surprising considering most teenagers these days were rotten.

Currently, I resided in London. Why? Because the place was overcast half the time and during the other half it was raining. Not to mention this was the capitol for punks. I fit in with the punk-rock music crowd. My dark hair and pale skin fit the perfect stereotype. Elderly people saw me in the streets and looked away as though the I was the wind. Just passing by, nothing unusual. I wasn't the only one of my kind that figured it out, though. There were other vampires wafting in the underground music scene. Ones that dared to go to an extreme I would never think of going. Piercings, make-up, chains all around. It was relvolting to say the least. We never acknowledged eachother. We just glanced and barely made eye contact before going back to our business as though the otehr had never existed. This would have annoyed and normal person, but I was used to it. I thought of myself as unexistant. I wasn't real, I was just..._ there._

The only time I ever felt any emotion anymore was at the sight of children. Children that were growing right before my eyes. Some I had watched grow up. Everyday I sat at the same park on the same bench. I watched a little girl coax her baby brother down the slide. I watched the girl turn into a teenager and return with her boyfriend. And yet I was never acknowledged. Even as I sat there in the same place day after day, she never saw me. She would never think that I would know that she had skinned her knee when she was nine on her pink rollerblades. She would never comprehend that I knew for a fact that she had gone down the orange slide exactly five-hundred and five times. I would know, I've counted.

I worked of course, around the clock. I didn't need to sleep so it was easy. I belonged to a temp agency, so I had my fill of work. Of course, I didn't use my real information. As far as the agency knew, I was Isabella Connelly. They thought I was fifteen when I first signed up. I told them I lived alone and I was a high school drop-out. Enrolling back into high school would have been too much of a bother. Being I worked 24/7 (or rather 24/5 because of the weekends) money was never a problem for me. They amount I had in my savings account was more than I ever could have achieved in a lifetime of working at the Newton's store.

Currently, I was waiting in the increibly long line at airport security. I swear to God, peopel crash four planes and the world's gone looney-toons. I tapped my foot imaptiently. This was ridiculous! I looked down at the floor and saw a small girl staring up at me with wonderous eyes. She twitched her finger, indicating me to descend to her level. I bent down. She held her arm to my face.

"Can you hear?" She whispered. "I'm growing." I smiled. She had no idea. She leaned forward to my ear. "Are you going to protect me?" she asked.

"I'll try my best." My voice was quiet as usual. I didn't see the point in speaking up if nobody could hear me.

"Are you an angel?" She said wonderously. I felt my smile fade. I shook my head.

"No, I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm the exact opposite of an angel." Her mother quickly pulled her away from me, but she still continued to stare. Good, I thought. It's better she stay away from a monster like me.

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The plane ride was pleasant, or about as pleasant as it could be. There was the occasional screaming infant and the snoring old man, but other than that it was satisfactory.

My next destination as to see Aro. It was about the time I should be paying him a visit. I dropped in once every month just to get the scoop of things. Of course, my only main reason was to get news on the Cullens. Twelve times a year I popped in randomly. Twelve times a year I was always given a shake of his pale head. Stupid pale head, I thought. I just want to squeeze it like a little inconvenient pimple.

Aro smiled as I entered the vast pavillion.

"Ah, Isabella." He said happily. "So wonderful to see you again. And your hair has gotten longer, I see." I suppose it was longer. It just barely grazed my butt. My lips twitched upwards into a brief, emotionless smile.

"Good to see you too, Aro." I replied. I waited patiently. He knew what I came here for, he always knew. His smile grew.

"I suppose you would like to know if there is any news of the Cullens." I waited. He continued. "Well, as a matter of fact," He paused, giving time for his words to sink in. I absorbed them like a dry sponge. "I've just received word that they are coming for a visit." I felt my motionless heart drop into the pit of my stomach.

"When." I asked stiffly.

"I expect them to be arriving sometime today. Which reminds me." God damn his pausing moments. "I have a little job for you."

"And just what makes you think I'll comply?" I stated angrily. He folded his hands and perched his chin on his entwined fingers.

"I don't think. Just a feeling." Jesus Christ, what was it with this guy.

"I'm waiting to hear this proposition, Aro." I growled impatiently.

"I would like you to escort the Cullens to me. Luckily, it's sunny outside so a cloak will be needed. They never have to know it's you." He was still smiling idily. I, on the other hand, hadn't breathed since he had mentioned the Cullens. I knew that glint in his eyes. He was expecting me to refuse. He was about to get the biggest shock of his life.

"Okay," I said. "I'll do it."

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**Whew! Another chapter! Jeez, this took a while. Again, sorry if you thought badly or if it was too short. Please feel free to voice er... type your opinions to me!**


	3. Gifts and Curses

**Hello again, readers. So far, I suppose the story is doing okay. All the reviews I get are positive, so that's a good sign.**

**I want to appologize for some words I have been constantly screwing up. When I say screw up I mean all the right letters are there, the order is just wrong. This is because I am a fast typer and sometimes accidentally hit the wrong key. I go through and proof, of course, before posting each chapter but some mistakes slip through the cracks.**

**Questions:**

**Q: What is Bella's gift?**

**A: I haven't exactly decided on Bella's gift, mainly because I am having a hard time comprehending what it would be. For instance, Edward was always very good at reading people when he was human. Hence, he is now able to read minds. I have been reading and re-reading Twilight and New Moon to find some clue as to what her gift should be. It's now apparent that i may just have to fudge it and forget the fact that it is an enhanced ability from when she was human. If you have any suggestions, please review them ASAP!**

**Q: How long had Bella been living in London?**

**A: Approximately five years. The way I play it out is that it took some time for her to get used to things. I hope to explain it either in this chapter or no more than the next three chapters. I have to limit myself.**

**Q: Why did you cut the story off right when it was getting good!**

**A: This should also answer why the chapters are short. I don't mean to make them short, I try to make them as long as possible because I know it annoys the hell out of me when the chapter is only 2 minutes long. If any of you readers are also writers, than you know that once you type the story, you are no longer in control. Your mind takes over and the story comes to life, writing itself. I just cut it off when it is most prudent to. I appologize proffusly if my short chapters.**

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****

_But I have a purpose._

_And I have to fight this._

_This villan I can't knock down._

_I see your face withe every punch I take_

_And every bone I break_

_It's all for you._

_And my worst pains are words I cannot say_

_Still I will always_

_Fight on for you._

**_Gifts and Curses- Yellowcard_**

Aro smiled again. How I despised his smile.

"Excellent! Jane, would you please give Isabella a cloak?" Jane had been standing in the room silently for the past ten minutes. Jane had never really warmed up to me. I supposed it was the fact that Aro was so infatuated with me. She cast a glare my way and left to fetch a cloak. I looked suspiciously at Aro.

"Why?" I asked. He cocked his head in mock confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why are they coming here?" His eyes turned up in understanding.

"I have a meeting with them. I won't reveal as to what it's about, but you are welcome to be present during it." What a rat. I knew there was something up. There was always something up when it came to Aro. Lord knows what went on in his mind. "Ah, yes, your cloak!" Jane approached me and thrust it into my arms. I unfolded it and dropped it over my madras shirt. I took my hair and began braiding it to ensure it didn't get in the way.

"Here," Jane said. She tossed a glass bottle my way. I caught it without effort. It was a perfume bottle. "A scent like yours isn't easy to forget. I don't expect any of them to. I suggest you cover yourself in that, unless you feel like breaking the news to them." She turned and left. I sniffed the perfume and drew back. It was the strongest, most foul perfume I had ever smelled. I read the label. Paris Hilton, how did I know? (AN: I'm sorry, but I really don't like her perfume. I smelled it and got a headache. I just had to put that.) Reluctantly, I sprayed it on my cloak and through my hair. A confrontation was not what I wanted. I just wanted to see them. Maybe that would be enough to keep me going for the next six years.

By the time I was done I had completely emptied the perfume. I myself found it hard to breath. No worries though. After showering twenty times or so, I'm almost positive the smell would almost be gone.

"So where am i supposed to pick them up?" I asked Aro.

"I'm sure you know the place, it was where you saved you're beloved Edward." I felt my teeth clench. I hated it when Aro said his name. Aro had a gift for making something beautiful into something purely ugly and grotesque.

I nodded. How could I ever forget the place?

"You'll be going with two other guards." He said. I cast him an angry look. He smiled appologetically. "I'm sorry, my dear. But if one of them decides to cause trouble, it will take more than just you to restrain them. Not only that, but they must wear cloaks as well. I wouldn't want you to carry such a heavy load." I shook my head disgustedly. There was more behind it, I could feel it in my bones. "You, of course, will be the leader. The higher up. Now, run along, wouldn't want to keep our guests waiting." I turned and walked out, hearing the heavy footsteps of the guards behind me. I could only hope that I made it through this. But I knew.

I knew my pain would be worth it.

**---------------------------------------------------------------**

Aro had been right, it was indeed sunny outside. I slid my over-sized aviator sunglasses up the bridge of my nose and skulked towards the tower. At first I didn't see them. Then I looked closer and realized they were hiding in the shadows, careful not to be seen by the humans. They first I saw was Rosalie, she looked as haughty and perfect as ever. Carlisle emerged from the darker shadows, but made sure to stay out of the sunlight. After Carlisle emerged, they all did. Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice... and Edward. He looked exactly the same, still beautiful as ever. His beautiful face was blank. No emotion on it. I clenched my fists tight to restrain myself from wrapping my arms around him and never letting go. I tossed the cloak in my hand to Edward, who caught it. He pulled it over his head and tugged the hood up over his features. The rest followed suit with theirs.

I nudged my head in the direction of the pavilion and Carlisle nodded. I was too cowardly to speak, for fear that they would recognize my voice. I turned and walked quickly, silently praying that they didn't discover me

**---------------------------------------------------------------**

As we entered the room, the Cullens pulled their cloaks off and handed them to the guards.

"Thank you, Isabella." I froze. So this was it. This was the trap. I turned to him and nodded stiffly.

"You're welcome." I said through gritted teeth. I turned and began walking towards the door, intent to get out of this place as soon as possible. The guards stepped in front of the doors. I growled and looked menacinly at Aro. His smile was plastered on his pasty face.

"Please, stay." He said pleasantly.

"I'd rather not." I replied sharply. I wanted to get out of here and _fast _because the Cullens were beggining to stare. I took a step backward, maybe I could catch the guards by surprise. Sure, I wasn't the fastest of runners, but I definately ran at least three times faster than I did when I was human.

Aro sighed.

"Isabella, there's no possibility of you escaping. Please, sit and welcome our guests." So many emotions went through me at that moment. Everytime he said Isabella, I felt a wave of panic shoot through me. I was nervous and afraid. But most of all, I was angry. I felt a growl grow deep in my throat. The lights flickered, but Aro still continued to smile pleasantly. "Am I upsetting you... Bella?" I gulped and stood, immobile. Each and every one of the Cullens stared with a look of shock on their face. None was worse than the look on Edwards. It held the look of pure disbelief and hurt. A tear slipped down my cheek.

"Please," I said. My voice was barely below a whisper. "Let me go." I stared down at the floor, but I could hear Aro's steady footsteps coming towards me. His shoes clinking on the marble floors. I knew what he was about to do and yet my body wouldn't move. He stood in front of me, his arms behind his back.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, you dissapoint me, Bella. I would have thought you would be strong enough by now." He reached out to touch my hand, but I snatched it away.

"Touch me," I hissed. "And you're a dead man." He laughed aloud.

"Now, if I were human, that would have scared me. As it is, your hands can do no harm to me." In a flash two of the guards were holding me down. What was going on. I felt tears go down my face.

"Why are you doing this?" I accused. He smiled.

"My dear, Isabella. I think it's time you showed your _family_ just who exactly you are." The cloak was yanked off and my sunglasses skidded on the floor. I didn't even bother to look at the Cullens. I hung my head in shame. I had never meant for them to see me like this. The door opened and another guard brought in a young boy, He looked no older than twelve, maybe thirteen. His clothes were ragged and his face and hair were dirty. I guessed he was a homeless child. What I never would have guessed was what his purpose was. "See these?" Aro said. He held my glove-covered hand up. "They may not look it, but these hands are the deadliest weapons to a human." He tugged on the glove and pulled it off.

My eyes widened and I thrashed and screamed.

"No!" I shouted. "No, please! Please, don't!" This was my death all over again. My fight meant nothing, I was still useles. The guard brought the boy forward and thrust him forward. I clenched my fist together so tight that it drew blood. I didn't care, just as long as my fingers didn't touch the boy.

"Now, now, Bella. Don't be difficult. He's only a homeless child, nobody will ever miss him." I would, I thought. Aro pried my fingers apart and held one out to the boy. I kicked against the guard but it was no use. The finger connected with the boy's temple and I felt a whoosh of pain shoot through my body. I sobbed as the boy fell to the ground, his eyes wide. He was dead. The guards let me go and I curled into the fetal position as the waves of white hot pain shook my body. I screamed in agony. It felt as if my whole body was on fire.

"You see," I heard Aros' voice say. "Bella has quite an extraordinary gift. She has the power to take life away from humans. All they need to do is make contact with her fingers and they're dead. The downside is that each time this happens, Bella relives her own death." I heard some movement and then the sound of somebody being tackled to the ground. Roars and growls were heard. "Don't worry, Edward. It will be over soon." My eyes were shut tight as screamed again. Then the pain began to ebb away. Little by little until I felt exhausted.

"Great," I heard Jane's voice say. "Now she has to sleep again."

"Ah, yes, thank you for reminding me, Jane. Yes, after this occurs, Bella usually sleeps for a day or two. Fascinating, isn't she." I felt like a lab rat under observation. Like some science experiment. I felt a cold hand touch my forhead. "Yes, how very hot you are. It's as if you have a fever." I didn't doubt it. I felt like I had a fever. I could feel the sweat dripping down the sides of my head mixed in with my tears which still continued to pour down my face. I turned my head slightly and saw all the Cullens watching me eagerly. Edward looked just plain hostile.

My vision became blurry. Each figure in the room turning into twins. I looked at Edward again and our eyes briefly met. His beautiful eyes that I had missed so much. The eyes I had hoped would never see this side of me. I wasn't going to give up this easily. I winced as I pulled my steaming body up. By steaming, I mean that steam was literally coming off my skin.

"Don't push yourself, Bella." Aro warned. I growled but it was weak.

"Don't... call me that." My voice was hoarse and breathless but my warning still hung in the air. I brought myself to my knees, but my shoulders still slumped and I didn't have the strength to raise my head.

"Bella, this is who you are. Adore it, embrace it, _accept_ it. Vampires are not monsters as Edward has led you to believe. We are at the top of the food chain, the most powerful beings ever." Aro spoke pridefully.

"No..." I said weakly.

"So you do think yourself a monster? Do you think yourself... _revolting?_ Do you regret becoming what you are?" I growled again.

"You know better than... anyone that I didn't choose this." My voice was getting weaker and it was getting harder to breathe. When I was in this state, it was viatl to get as much oxygen as I could in order to stay concious. "I... am the monster..." My eys caught Edward's again. Another tear slipped down my cheek. "I am... revolting." I was speaking to Edward now. His eyes were wide and pained. "I am so... so..." I choked on a sob. "So sorry, Edward." I felt my body slump and fall to the ground.

"No!" I heard Edward shout. My vision slowly faded, and once again I was consumed by the darkness I hadn't encountered in half a decade.

**---------------------------------------------------------------**

I sprung up, hyperventalating. I sighed contently. It was all a dream. I placed my hand over my eyes and nearly cried when I felt it cold. I felt my neck. No pulse. So it wasn't a dream. I was waking up after killing an innocent child and worst of all... Edward saw it. Now I was crying. I hugged my knees and buried my face into them as sobs racked my body. I had never wanted him to see me as a vampire, but I would have shown him a thousand times in order for him not to see my gift... my curse. I gasped. Where were my gloves? Where were my... clothes...? I was in an oversized T-shirt that I didn't recognize. An oversized T-shirt and _nothing_ else.

"Good evening." A voice said. My body instantly became petrified. Not happening, not happening. But it was happening. I gave up.

"Where are my gloves?" I asked quietly. I could see the sillhouette in the doorway.

"On the armchair, along with the rest of your clothes." I stood up and yanked the shirt over me. I heard an intake of breath, but to be honest I didn't really care. I wanted to leave. I wanted to get away from his eyes. I slipped the straps of my bra over my shoulders.

"I suppose you washed them?" I asked as I tugged my underwear on.

"Esme did." His voice was slightly strangled.

"Tell her I said thank you." I did the last button on my shirt and zipped up my jeans. "And tell whoever bathed my I said thank you as well."

"Alice bathed you." he said. "And you can tell them yourself." I slipped my shoes and gloves on and turned to face him. He was across the room from me, still standing in the doorway while the light behind him made his figure visible.

"No," I said. "I can't, I have to go." I attempted to get past him, but failed. He was still too fast for me, and in a flash his strong arms were restraining me. "Let me go, Edward." The pause of silence seemed like forever.

"Why did you tell me?" I stopped fidgeting and bowed my head. "Why didn't you come to us? We would have helped you." His voice was sad. I felt guilty.

"I know," My voice was still quiet. "I should have come to you. But... I was scared. I was so frightened and felt so alone." I felt myself begin to cry again. Edward didn't say anything. "I was so terrified as to what you would think of me. What I thought of myself was bad enough, but had your opinion been negative... that would have been one hundred times worse." He still didn't speak. I sighed. "There's so much I would need to tell you in order for you to understand. It's such a very long story."

"Then tell me." He spoke up. "Tell me everything, from begging to end. I swear to you I won't pass judgements on you. I'll even let go of you under one condition." My eyes widened as I felt his cold breath on my ear. "You have to promise not to run away."

And for the first time in six years, I smiled. For real this time.

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**yay, another chapter! I tried to make this one as long as I could, but it's getting late and this gives me the oppertunity to devote the whole next chapter to Bella's story.**

**I'm sorry if any of you thought my perception of Edward was poor. I myself wasn't very impressed by it, but hey, then again my perception of the male mind isn't exactly perfect either.**

**yes, i finally came up with Bella's gift. And yes, i fudged it. I'm sorry to those who actually had a good idea, but this one just seemed to fit.**

**please review!**


	4. Who I Am

**OMFG! This is my THIRD time writing this chapter! Everytime I click 'save changes' it goes all weird and doesn't save my story.**

**FRUSTRATION**

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_Cause I don't want you to know_

_Where I am._

_Cause then you'll see my heart_

_In the saddest state it's ever been._

**_Who I Am Hates Who I've Been- Relient K_**

Edward and I sat in the living room, him on the sofa and me in the overstuffed armchair. He watched me expectantly.

"Well, I guess the best place for me to start is the beggining." How incredibly stupid I must have sounded. I let out a puff of air and prodded my mind as to where the begging was.

"It was six years ago when you guys were visiting your friends in Alaska. If you can remember, I wasn't exactly stable at the time. Mom had just been killed in a car crash and I was popping anti-deppressants like M&Ms when nobody was looking. I didn't care if I died of an over-dose, they stopped the pain and that was all that mattered." I paused. I'd only been talking for three minutes and I already sounded like a guest at the Hotel California (AN: for those who don't know, the Hotel California is a rehab facility).

"Charlie was out at some banquet thing so I was home alone. It was raining so hard outside that I never even heard her enter the house. I remember laying on my bed and staring at the cieling hoping that in the next second you would be coming back to me. When my bedroom door opened, I thought it was you. I jumped up and expected to see you standing there, wearing that crooked smile of yours. When I saw her there, standing in the doorway... words can't even express how scared I was." I shuddered at the memory.

"At first I thought it was the anti-deppressants. That it was a hallucination or maybe even a dream. Nonetheless, I followed my first instict and ran. Surprisingly, she let me pass right by her without making any attempt to grab me. As I said, it was pouring rain outside making me slip and fall twice as much as I usually did. I ran through the woods, tripping and injuring myself the whole way. Finally, I gave up. I was so far into the woods that I didn't know which way was home. I could scream all I wanted but nobody would hear me. Nobody would ever find me where I was." I felt my eyes grow watery. "Next thing I knew, I was yanked back by may hair and tossed into a tree." I saw Edward stiffen and clench fists.

"What happened next is blatantly obvious. I doubt I need to tell you the deatils. I will tell you that the change was absolutely painless." I sent a small glare his way. He seemed to relax a bit.

"I told you it was painful in hopes of scaring you. For some it's painful, for some they don't even feel it." He admitted. I stared sourly at him, but continued anyway.

"When I woke up, it was as though somebody had turned up the controls in my brain. I could see and hear_ everything_. My body even felt surprisingly lighter. I wasn't sure what to do, so I came here in hopes that you were back. Just my luck, you weren't. I thought about going home, then I remembered what happened to Jasper at my birthday party. I was so confused. I had no idea what to expect. I felt just so completely and utterly alone in the world." I shook my head. "I don't know, my first week is so vague after that. I stayed in your house, praying each and every day that you would be coming back. That maybe one of you forgot something and would come back and retrieve it. It wasn't long until I got hungry." I could almost feel my eyes darkening at the thought.

"I tried my best to restrain myself. I knew that once I lost what little sliver of control I had that it would be impossible to regain it. But, in the end, my other side took over. I just... blanked. To this day, I'm still pretty confident I didn't arm any humans, though. A few days went by and you still didn't come back. When I was almost positive Charlie wasn't home, I snuck into the house to get some more clothes considering Rosalie and Esme's were too big and Alice's were too small. Not only that, but there were a few choice items I wanted to retrieve." I sighed heavily. This next part was almost unbearable to say. "Well, Charlie came home early. He came up to my room, for whatever reason I don't know, and caught me going through my drawers. At first he seemed angry, I guess he thought I ran away. Then he looked relieved, but it didn't take him long to notice my chalky skin." I choked. My voice started to crack. "It's sort of a blur. I remember him approaching me... and then I was in pain." I put my hand over my face as I sobbed. "When the pain stopped, he was there. Laying on the floor... _dead." _

Edward's arms slipped around me and he stroked my hair. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as sobs wracked my body. "I killed my father, Edward." I hiccuped. "After that, I knew I couldn't face you. I knew I would never be able to look at you again, knowing that I had done such a terrible thing. I didn't even want to think about how you would react. How any of you would react." I whispered the last part, but I knew they were all listening.

"Knowing I couldn't go back to you, I began to travel East. I knew what small amount of money I had wouldn't be enough to get to where I was going if the flight was from Forks. So I tried to head as far East as I could, preferrably to get to New York. I didn't make it to New York, but I did make it to Memphis, Tennesee. From there the ticket was considerably less." I took a breath. Breathing wasn't something I needed, but it did help calm me down. "So I bought a ticket for Venice, Italy and made my way to the Volturi from there." Edward's grip on me tightened. "Looking back on it now, I realize it was an extremely stupid decision. I actually think I held my breath for almost a month. It was extremely uncomfortable. But, what was I supposed to do? The Volturi were the only other vampires i knew. I wouldn't say I really trusted them, but they were my only hope.

"Aro was ecstatic to see me. He seemed eafer to know what my gift was but at that point I still wasn't sure what it was. It never occured to me that Charlie had died because he touched my fingers. I attempted to read minds, do that funky thing Aro does, do whatever the hell Jane does, feel people's emotions, see the future, I even tried to teleport. It was quiet pathetic, really." I laughed. "It wasn't until Aro had one o his 'feeding frenzies' that my hand accidentally connected with a tourist while I was attempting run out. Even after that we still didn't know all the details of it. All we had to go on was that the tourist was dead and my body felt as though I had just been tossed into a barbecue.

"Aro seemed even more fascinated with the fact that I slept for a day or so after this. He would constantly ambush me with questions. 'Do you dream? Do you feel any different when you wake up? Any stronger?' Honestly, it was so annoying. He was like a child in a toy store. No, he was _worse_." I heard Edward laugh slightly, but his lips were tight and trying desperatly to hold it in. "Then Aro began to bring tourists to me, he said to think of them as 'test subjests'. The very thought of him saying that makes me sick to my stomach. It only took two tourists to figure out exactly how it worked but it took four days which was increasingly annoying to the other Volturi members. I suppose they thought it was like babysitting.

"When we came to the conclusion that my fingers were deadly, Aro insisted I join. I declined. I didn't want to be a apart of any group that would so willingly kill innocent people just to 'test' somebody's ability. I decided to leave Italy, but I had no money. Where would I go? I went to Paris on foot, hoping to find work there. Thankfully, I got a night job as a waitress at a night-club. The manager seemed to think it was pretty cool how my skin would glow under a black light. I bet he never thought for a second that I wasn't human. I worked there for about four months until I was finally able to buy a ticket to London. I figured London was the closest climate to Forks and the last place you would ever look for me.

"The first thing I did when I got to London was get a job. I signed up with a temp agency saying that I was a highs school drop-out who lived by myself. Good for me, the lady at the counter was a woman who took pity on me. I told them I was fifteen so that I would have an excuse for looking young for however many years I may work there. By then it was about January of 2008. I still had only a small amount of money, so when I wasn't working I was usually laying on a park bench. It wasn't until about six months later that I finally had enough to by a small, one room apartment.

"It wasn't long before the word got out about my gift. Soon after that almost every vampire in Europe was on my doorstep or showing up at work to ask me to join their clan or coven. Some even wanted me to prove I actually had my gift."

"One question," Edward said. I looked up at him. "What exactly did you... _feed_ on?" I felt extremely idiotic for not mentioning that. He was probably sitting there in anticipation wondering if I ate humans for breakfast.

"A young girl at the blood bank helped me with that." I replied. He looked at me strangely. "You see, we sort of had an agreement. She would give me one packet of blood for one question that I was obligated to answer. I know, I really shouldn't have done that but come on. How else was I supposed to get blood from her? Besides, the questions were harmless enough." I grinned at the memory. Edward seemed confused.

"What did she ask you?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Do I turn into a bat, do I turn to dust in the sun, do I sleep in a coffin, and she was very interested to know if I had ever met Dracula." He laughed. I never thought about how much I missed his laugh. It was a beautiful sound.

"Yeah, so I'm not too worried about her. I don't think she was too worried about me either, she let her daughter around me." I stopped and sat quietly.

"So...?" Edward asked. I glanced up at him.

"So that's basically it. Once every month for the past five years I checked in with Aro to see if he had any news on you. Then he proposed I escort you to him. Normally, I wouldn't have done it but..." I placed my hand on my forhead. I didn't exactly have an answer as to why I decided to escort them. "I had to see you. I knew that all it took was one little slip up and all I had worked so hard to build would come crashing down and in the end... it did." I didn't look at him. "You must think me a monster. But it's okay, I think myself a monster."

"Bella..." Edward trailed off.

"You're not a monster." I gasped and looked up to see Rosalie leaning against the door jam. Her face was sympathetic, a look I myself wasn't used to. "There isn't a person in this house, better yet this _world_ that thinks positively of themselves. We're made to hate ourselves because it is what pushes us to make ourselves go the distance. We all have flaws." She gave a humorless laugh. "Believe it or not, even I have flaws." Edward snorted.

"Yeah, but Rose makes up for her's in the bedroom." Emmett said. Rosalie slapped him accoss the face but he only laughed. "What, I'm only telling the truth, you know, something to break the ice--ow! Alice, what was that for?" He accused as he rubbed the back of his head.

"For being an idiot." Rosalie and Alice said in unison.

"He's your husband."

"He's your brother."

"Yes, but I'm not the one who has loud, mad gorilla--" I covered my ears and began to sing.

"La, la, la, la, la. More than I need to know!" Everybody laughed.

"Yes, Rosalie, Alice is right. Would it be too much to ask if you and Emmet were more... discreet?" Esme asked. I jumped slightly. She had popped up from out of nowhere. Rosalie scoffed.

"Only if you and Carlisle keep it down to a dull moan." If Esme were human, she would have flushed bright red. I couldn't hold it any longer, the look on Esme's face was hilarious. I burst out into a fit of giggles that evolved into laughs. Soon everyone followed and started laughing similtaneously. Eventually it died down until we were all sitting in the living room in one way or another. Meaning me and Edward still on the overstuffed armchair, Esme and Alice on the sofa, Emmett sitting with his legs out in front of him on the floor, Rosalie in the identical overstuffed armchair opposite of me, and Jasper sitting on the arm of the sofa next to Alice. All but Carlisle were present.

"Where's...?"

"He's at work." Everybody answered. I nodded and walked over to the window. I glanced out at the woods. Had it really been six years since I had last seen them? Six years and they still looked the same, all the trees in the same spots, all the gaps right where they had been. It was as if I'd never left.

"So I'm really back." I said quietly more to myself than anyone else. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me.

"Yes," he whispered. "You're home, where you belong." I sighed in content and leaned back into him. I was where I belonged, in the arms of the man I loved.

"So Bella," Emmett's voice rang. "When was the last time you ate?" I thought.

"What's today?" I asked.

"Thursday."

"Four days ago." I felt somebody tug on my hand But I didn't budge. "No----oo," I moaned. Edward just wrapped his arms around my waist and through me over his shoulder. I banged my fists on his back. "Edward, put me down! Come on, it's only _four days!_ I gone much longer without eating."

"Bella," His voice was amused which made me even more annoyed. "You need to eat. It's not healthy to starve yourself."

"I'm not even human anymore and your still insisting I eat!" I exclaimed.

"Come on, time to feed the whiney vampire." He muttered back.

"I heard that!"

**-----------------------------------------------------**

I laid back on the grass.

"Well," I began. "That was... interesting." Edward and Emmett gave me dumb looks.

"Honestly," Edward said disbelievingly. "How could you not know how to _hunt?_" I sprung up in my defense.

"I'm a domesticated vampire! I drink from packets for God's sake!" They shook their heads.

"But all you have to do is find your pray and let your hunger control you! It's so easy!" Emmett yelled.

"Hey, I tried my best."

"Bella, you walked up to the fox and attempted to pet it. It wasn't until it bit you that you got pissed off and tore it's throat out." I didn't say anything and just twiddled my thumbs. My hands wandered to my insanely long hair.

"I'm thinking of cutting my hair." I spoke up, attempting to change the subject. Edward picked up a strand that was a good three feet long.

"How does it keep growing?" He asked. I shrugged.

"It just does. Same with my nails. It gets kind of annoying actually because it grows so damn fast. I swear, I have to cut it at least every two months because suddenly it's to my knees!"

"Well, go to Alice. She should have a lot of fun cutting it. And on the brights side, if she screws it up it will be back in two months." I gave him a humorless smile and he laughed. I was in love with a weirdo.

**-----------------------------------------------------**

I wrapped the towl around my now hot and wet body. I felt I needed a shower after hunting. I was sweaty (one of the downsides of being me, I still sweat) and was covered in blood. Yuck. Ewe-ness! I laughed at myself. I was a vampire and yet I was disgusted by being covered in blood.

I ran my hand over the foggy mirror and gazed at my reflection. I wondered what Edward must think, considering I look so different. My skin was chalky white, making my lips look blood-red against it. My eyes weren't the shade of brown they were before, but were instead bright gold that turned a dull color of maroon when I was grumpy. My hair was still plain and brown as before, but in the sun it looked red which I supposed was pretty cool.

My hair...

I reached behind me and pulled it over my shoulder. It was much too long. Before I could stop myself, I shuffled through the drawers in the bathroom and pulled out a pair of sciccors. I held my hair at arms length, and in one swift snip I had hacked it short. I looked at my hair and had realized what I had done. Oh well. I tied it with a rubber-band and figured I would donate it to a place that makes wigs. Lord knows it was much longer than ten inches.

I dressed and combed what little hair I had left back. My hair that had been just past my rear-end was now an inch below my ear-lobe. Taking my separated ponytail, I walked down the hall to Alice's room. I knocked once and she opened the door. Her jaw dropped and I looked at her, surprised.

"Didn't you see this coming?" I asked her. She shook her head, her eyes still wide.

"No, I haven't been able to see you for sometime, Bella. But why did you cut it?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"It'll grow back in a couple months. It was too long, I needed a change." I thrust the ponytail forward. "Here, donate this to people who need it. And I was wondering if you could..."

"Fix your hair? Sure thing, just come right this way..." She ushered me to a chair in front of her desk and sat me down. She draped a towel around my shoulders and pulled a pair of sciccors from the drawer. "Anything in particular you were going for?" I shook my head.

"Just make it... different." She nodded and began snipping away. "So do you know why you haven't been able to see me?" I asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

"No, but since we saw you the other day I've been pondering." She raced out of the room and was back in a split second with a little basket of 'goodies'. "I figure it has something to do with your gift, which is strange because I never have had any limitations on it."

"Just like Edward." I murmered she nodded.

"Yes, and Aro and Jane, but I would never suspect _my_ power would ever be limited. For instance, say next friday you were to get in a car accident. Well, usually even if I can't see you then I would see the other person involved in it. Let's just say the other person is... Mike Newton." I laughed. it had been a long time since I had heard his name. "Then I would probably see him not watching the road, or running a red light or whatever. But I haven't seen _anything _even remotely involved with you. It's like you just vanished off my rader screen." She sprayed some whip-cream looking stuff in her hand and lathered them together. "It's just weird and in a way, sort of frustrating."

"But how do you figure it has something to do with my gift?" She paused.

"Bella, when you think of your gift, what do you make of it?" She asked quietly. I furrowed my brows.

"How so?"

"Like Jasper sees his as sort of... empathetic. I see mine as being psychic and Edward sees his as being... well, an invader of privacy. But what do you call yours?" I didn't have an answer.

"I... I don't know, Alice. I really don't." I looked at her. "But you sound like you have an idea, so do tell." She looked at me, her eyes searching for something.

"Bella... before you touched that homeless boy, I saw him die of starvation a week later. I never wanted to tell you, but before you touched Charlie I was him having a stroke not to long after we came back from Alaska. Bella, I think maybe..." If my heart were beating, I imagine it would have been almost jumping out of my chest right now. "I think that maybe you might be... a grim reaper figure."

**-----------------------------------------------------**

**Jeez! Gosh, this took me sooo long to write because my computer kept erasing it. Not to mention I just started my sophomore year of high school and I am being buried under mountains of homework.**

**I think this is probably the longest chapter in this story, but I couldn't seem to find the right place to cut it off.**

**Praises are adored.**

**Constructive criticizm is valued.**

**And flames will be used to burn Aro at the stake.**

**take care!**

**Review plzzz**


	5. Always

**Howdy there, ppl. lol, sorry, I'm hyper.**

**So far I like how the story's going. I haven't gotten any flames yet, so I think you like the way it's going too.**

**I don't have any questions to answer at the moment.**

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_So here I am_

_I'm trying._

_So here I am_

_Are you ready?_

_Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you_

_Always._

_Kiss you, taste you, all night_

_Always._

_**Always- Blink-182**_

_"...Bella, I think maybe..." If my heart were beating, I imagine it would have been almost jumping out of my chest right now. "I think that maybe you might be... a grim reaper figure."_

I froze and felt my eyes widen. I prayed to myself that I had heard her wrong, but I knew I hadn't. Grim reaper? That couldn't be...

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't think it would upset you this much." Her beautiful face was marred with guilt. I shook my head.

"No, Alice, I'm glad you said this. But... why do you think that? You mean I'm like... a death dealer or something?" She shrugged and ran her hand through her short hair.

"I don't know. I still haven't figured it all out completly. I promise to tell when I do." I nodded. She smiled slightly and then grinned fully. "You're done! Oh my gosh, you look so adorable!" I laughed as she steered me down the hall to the bathroom. "Close your eyes." She ordered. I closed them and saw the light come on from behind my eye lids. "Okay, open!" I opened them

"Oh, Alice..." I marveled at my hair. "It looks _wonderful!_ Thank you so much!" She had cut about an inch off but layerd the rest. It looked slightly more... _poofy, _but I supposed that had been the whip-cream stuff she had put in it. "You should open a hair salon."

"No, I like my services to be available exclusively to my family. Consider me your personal stylist!" I smiled warmly and hugged her.

"Thank you so much!" I squeeled. "Do you know where Edward is?"

"He, Jasper and Emmett are downstairs watching TV. There's supposed to be a vampire movie-marathon on." I smiled and shook my head. Boys are weird. I walked over to the banister and jumped over it, landing on the floor sliently and painlessly. I had to admit, being a vampire had it's benifits. I tip-toed over to the media room (AN: that's what we call ours. don't kill me.) and peeked my head around the corner. I saw the backs of their heads as they sat in a row on the couch with their eyes glued to the large Plasma screen TV. A smile appeared on my face as and idea popped into my head. I crept silently and held my breath. I stood about an foot behind them and raised my arms in the air. I opened my mouth...

"Hi, Bella." The three of them said in unison without turning around. I let out a sigh and slumped my shoulders.

"Aw, you guys are no fun." I jumped over the couch and laid horizontally accross all of them so that my head was in Jasper's lap, my middle was in Edward's lap, and my legs were on Emmett's. Unfortunatly, I didn't realize until after I had already laid down that my rear-end was also in Edward's lap. Wonderful. "Would it kill you to at least play along?" None of them looked at me. "Hello?" Still no response. I sighed.

"Edward, tomorrow I'm running off with Mike Newton."

"I'll just drag you back." He replied, still not looking at me. This was getting irratating. I felt a tickle on the bottom of my foot. I twitched it away. I raised my head slightly to look at Emmett, but he was still staring at the TV. My ands rested on his thighs currently. I slid my hand up his shirt and traced small circles on his cold back. Edward gave a hiss of breath. "Bella..." Emmett let out a snort of laughter. Neither of them were looking at me. I slid my hand farther up his back, letting the tips of my fingers graze him the whole way. I slowly traced his spine up and down until I felt the surface below my head and legs drop. Suddenly, Edward was leaning over me with his face in my neck. I laughed.

"I'm not so easy to ignore, am I?" I asked as he nuzzled my neck. I felt his cool lips place feather-soft kisses down my collerbone. He parted the strap of my tank-top and continued to the end of my shoulder and then back up again.

"No, you're the hardest person to ignore. But you're the evilest little temp on this planet." He said as he ended his trail at the corner of my lips. He brought his face back and looked me in the eyes before gazing at my hair. "What on Earth did you do to my hair?" I smiled sheepishly.

"I cut it, Alice fized it up though." He ran his long fingers through it. "Do you like it?" I asked while placing my hand over his.

"I'll have to thank Alice." He murmered. His eyes wandered back to mine. I parted my lips to speak, but I was silenced by his. At first the kiss was gentle and guarded like our past ones. Then it was as if he realized that I was no longer a porcelein (sp?) doll. He opened his mouth and I followed while wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands crept up my shirt and I let out a gasp against his lips.

Then the front door slammed.

We sprung up and sat on the couch as though nothing had happened. I heard footsteps behind us and I let a smile astray on my face.

"Well, isn't this a nice scene." Carlisle's voice said from behind us. Edward grinned and tilted his head back so that he could most likely view Carlisle from an upside down view. I turned around fully so that my arms were hanging over the back of the couch.

"Hello, Carlisle." I said quietly. I still hadn't spoken to him since I'd seen him in Volterra. Carlisle gave me a warm smile, the ones I remembered.

"Hello, Bella. And how are you feeling?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Better, I guess." He nodded and stared at Edward. I looked between the two of them and then realized what they were doing, or rather, what Carlisle was doing. He was speaking to Edward. I pulled my glove off with my teeth and tenatively poked Edward's forehead.

_...Came in with a large wound while sputtering about enormous wolves. One even claimed Big-Foot attacked him. I suggest we try to knock some sense into Jacob before..._

I gasped.

"What did Jacob do?" I asked anxiously. "I swear to God, I'll kick his butt if he's been causing trouble again..." They both stared at me strangely. "What?"

"Why were you poking my forehead?" Edward asked. Carlisle was giving be an even more strange look.

"I wanted to make sure you weren't catching a fever...?" I replied. Lousy. Even as a vampire I wasn't a good liar.

"Bella, did you just hear my thoughts?" I didn't say anything. "Bella, it's okay to tell me. I won't be mad."

"I only heard them for a seond, okay? I can't hear once I've let go of Edward." I mumbled.

"Can you read minds like Edward?" Carlisle asked. I shook my head.

"No," Edward looked confused.

"Alice, Jasper, would you come here a second?" Carlisle spoke as though they were standing right next to him. In a flash they were there, Alice was saluting him.

"Present, sir!" She shouted. Soon everybody was in the room and I began to feel uneasy. I felt like a one man freak show. Carlisle took Jasper's hand and held it to me. I looked up at him with mock confusion.

"I'm guessing you know what to do." He said. I bit my lip and reached out. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and immediatly felt freezing cold. I let go.

"Jesus Christ!" I shouted as I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. "What the hell was that?" Everybody looked at me strangely.

"Bella, all you did was hold his wrist for no more than a second." Edward replied. I felt guilty when I heard the worry etched in his voice.

"I felt really cold. I mean _really_ cold." I looked at Jasper incredulously who now had his eyebrows raised. "How do you _live_ with that?" He crossed his arms and chuckled.

"_That_ was Rosalie. Pleasant, isn't she?" he said sarcastically. I shuddered and glanced at Rosalie from the corner of my eyes. She didn't look happy.

"Ooh, ooh! Me next, me next!" Alice squeeled. She sounded like a child at an amusement park. She shoved her hand in my face and I, reluctantly, grabbed her finger. I felt shudders wrack my body as images came pouring into my head. Newton's Sporting Goods was going to lose power. The new chief at the police station was going to have a heart-attack. Angela Webber was going to be going into labor--woah, wait a second! Angela's _pregnant?_ I prodded for the father, ignoring the horrible headache and rapid spasms my body was giving. Before I could find the identity of her husband/boyfriend/one-night-stand, I was yanked away. Now that there was nothing to distract my mind, I became aware of the pain going throughout me.

"Bella, Bella! Bella, can you hear me?" I heard Edward's voice shout. I sucked in heavy breaths and closed my eyes and conentrated on remaining calm. Soon my body stopped spasming, but the pain in my head remained.

"G-give me my g-glove, p-please?" I stuttered through the small shakes I was still giving off. Edward fumbled around for my glove and slipped it over my trembling hand. He then grasped it in his and kissed my leather-covered hand. I closed my eyes and sighed in relief as I stopped shaking.

"Bella, are you alright?" Carlisle's calm voice spoke. I nodded. "Can you tell me what happened?" I nodded again, my eyes still closed. I was beggining to feel tired.

"When I touch humans their hearts stop." I murmered. "When I make contact with... vampires, I just momentarily expierience whatever ability they have. It only happens if I concentrate." My voice sounded warped.

"Bella, are you feeling tired?" Edward's voice was soft. I nodded.

"Extremely." I breathed. I felt his arms go around my waist and hoist me onto his hip like a little child. I leaned my head against his neck, I didn't want to sleep. Being a vampire should mean I never have to sleep again. I was laid down on a soft surface that I recognized to be a bed. "Don't go." I slurred. His arms wrapped around me and ticked me close to him. His cold lips placed a kiss on my forehead and I immediatly felt relaxed.

"I'll be here the whole time." He said softly. I nodded and buried my face in his chest. I inhaled in scent.

"Hey, Edward?" I said.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Tell me if I still talk in my sleep." He laughed and kissed my head.

"Will do, love." Who ever said this was Hell?

I was in Heaven. In the arms of the one person who meant the world to me. The one person who accepted me, flaws and all. I gave a sigh of content. To him, I was Bella. To them, I was Bella.

To me I was still Isabella.

I nuzzled forward and thought as I finally drifted off to sleep.

Maybe someday... I would find the strength to be Bella again.

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**Another extremely short chapter, but I am tired and it is late.**

**Thankfully, I have the whole entire next chapter planned out. This one I was just skipping along to get to the real stuff.**

**Sorry if I messed some words up again, the sun is beggining to come up and i can barely tell my left hand from my right elbow.**

**Praises are adored.**

**Criticism is valued.**

**And flames will be used to burn Aro at the stake.**


	6. Vindicated

**Hello again. I am really excited about this chapter, no idea why, I just am.**

**Questions:**

**Q: Why does Bella keep going to sleep?**

**A: I know, that was horrible the way I made her go to sleep again. The point is that whenever she uses her 'gift' she becomes physically exhausted. Sorry if that annoyed any of you.**

**Q: I'm confused, does Bella have two gifts?**

**A: No, she does not. Bella has one solid power, she 'borrows' from people. Only humans are too weak, so it in turn stops their heart. This will pose as another conflict for future chapters.**

**Q: Are Edward and Bella still together?**

**A: This question was messaged to me by a reader. Yes, they are still together. Just because I do a minimum of fluff between them doesn't mean they aren't still together. Personally, I don't like _too_ much fluff between them because in the book there isn't too much. Now, don't contradict me, I realize that Edward was always holding and caressing Bella, but that doesn't make it fluff. There's a diference between fluff and romance. Fluff is flashy affection. Romance is quiet and more meaningful.  
**

**Q: Am I getting my inspiration for Bella's gift from Rogue of _X-Men_?**

**A: Well, now that I think about it, probably so. Only partially, because I only use that with vampires. Another question I would like to answer is whether she wears gloves all the time. If she wanted, she could take them off while at home because (for those of you who paid attention) she only has their power when she concentrates. But, if you knew that your hands had taken innocent lives, would you want to take them off? I know I wouldn't. Incase this question comes up, yes, she takes them off when she bathes.**

**------------------------------------------------------**

_And I am flawed_

_But I am cleaning up so well_

_I am seeing in me now the thinsg you swore you saw yourself_

**_Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional_**

I stretched my arms and opened my eyes, welcoming the minimum of sunlight the peaked in through the curtains. I sat up and saw Edward sitting on the couch accross the room. He was leaning forward with his legs crossed and his chin perched up on his fist. He smiled warmly.

"Good-morning," he said. "Have a nice sleep?" I nodded.

"How long have I been out?" I asked as I rubbed my eyes. Not that I really needed to, I just didn't seem awake if I didn't.

"I'd say about three hours. Not very long." I nodded and then groaned. Edward cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"I haven't got any clean clothes to wear. This is just perfect." I laid back down and put my hands over my eyes. I had borrowed some of Rosalie's pajama's last night, but I doubt any of her casual clothes would fit. I glanced at Edward who hadn't moved an inch but was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "What...?" I asked skeptically. He stood and opened a closet which, to my immense surprise, was filled with clothes.

"Compliments of Alice and Rosalie. They went... _shopping_ last night." I took the hint in his voice. Shopping my ass, there was most likely a mall missing half of their stock. I walked to the closet and looked through the clothes. The whole wardrobe was probably worth the price of a large house. It was full of designer jeans, cashmere sweaters, and tweed coats in addition to other things.

Okay, so there was an _outlet_ mall missing half of there stock.

"Thank you, Rosalie. Thank you, Alice."

_"You're welcome!"_ I heard Alice call. I heard Rosalie grunt from somewhere in the house.

"I'll leave you to it." Edward said in my ear before kissing my cheek and dissapearing. I shook my head of daze. I wasn't even human anymore and yet he still affected me in the same way. My mind went back to the closet. I looked out the window and saw the overcast sky as always.

_"...And we're looking at a high of maybe sixty-four with a low of forty-three with a 55 chance of rain. Later in the day there should be mild winds of I'd say ten miles an hour heading towards East..." _I grinned. Life was good to be able to hear better. I pulled some items from the closet and laid them on the bed while I undressed myself.

I had never realized all the upsides to being immortal. I was always too busy wallowing in the negative points to even realize any good could come from it. I began to count the reasons in my head.

_Great hearing, no more clumsy falls, never need to worry about my eyes adjusting to the dark, can now preform awesome stunts without any risk whatsoever..._

I slipped on my gloves and combed my hair before racing downstairs and cannonballing onto the couch in the Media room. Everybody looked up at me in surprise, but none of them were startled. Alice and Jasper were playing a game on the computer while Emmett and Edward were playing pool in the next room. Edward grinned and leaned against the pool table.

"Now, that's a trick nobody in this house has ever done." Edward said. Everyone laughed and even Rosalie looked up briefly from her _Cosmopolitan _magazine I leaned forward and read a title next to a brunette celebrity I didn't recognize.

"'30 ways to drive him wild'." I quoted. Emmett snapped his head up to me. "Does that stuff really work?" I asked Rosalie. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Ask him." She pointed her thumb behind her to Emmett. I looked up at Emmett who had an innocent look on his face. Edward, hoever was staring at me with intense interest.

"...What...?" I asked tenatively. Alice looked at me briefly and snickered. Rosalie smirked slightly but didn't look up all the same.

"I was just curious was to why you would want to know if they work." Edward said blatantly. I shrugged.

"I just wonder if they work. I mean, it's somebody's _job_ to write them, but has he or she actually tested these out? Because if they haven't, then they're just theories." By now Alice was leaning over Rosalie's shoulder and reading.

"'After making love, gently stroke his--censored-- and then get up, dress, and leave immediatly. This will make him crave your touch.' Hmmm..." Alice looked thoughtful while I sat with wide eyes. "Interesting. I never thought of that." All eyes went to Jasper who was playing solitare. He shook his head but didn't look away from the screen.

Everyone snickered and even Rosalie smirked. I stood and stretched.

"Well, see ya guys later." I said and began to walk to the door.

"And where do you think you're going?" Edward's breath was cold on my ear as he wrapped his arms around my upper half. I smiled and turned to look at him.

"I," I began while I played with a button on his shirt. He leaned his forhead against mine. "Am going to my house." His eyes lost their softness and was replaced by skeptisism. I wasn't unaware that the entire room had gone silent.

"Bella..." He said. I already knew where he was going with this, but listened reluctantly. "Are you sure you want to do that?" I frowned. "I mean, do you think you're... that you're ready?" My eyes softened and a put on a wide smile, as fake as it was.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just want to go check it out. Unless, of course, it's been knocked down or something." The room was silent. "Was it...?" Edward shook his head.

"No, it's still there. I just want to make sure you can handle it." His eyes were searching mine. I nodded and he let go.

"I think I'll walk." I said thoughtfully. "It's been awhile since I've taken a walk in Forks." I opened and closed the door, my fake smile fading.

Was I ready?

I could only hope I was.

**------------------------------------------------------**

**(sorry, my computer did that weird thing again. it cut off right here. which sucked, because i had a whole lot typed. so yeah, this is part of the reason this is late)**

There I was. Standing before the sad sight that had once been my home. I felt my imaginary heart shatter as I gazed up at it. The windows were dirty and some were broken. Roof tiles and shingles lay around it and soggy toilet paper hung from a nearby tree. Some people must not have been very fond of my father, because crude words and phrases were written in dripping letters of malice.

_Pig_

It stung to even look at it. I averted my sight briefly but glanced back immediatly. I took a hesitant step onto the porch and froze dead in my tracks when I felt someone behind me.

"That's private property, Cullen." I felt an eyebrow shoot up. Cullen? Maybe they thought I was Alice. I turned around and felt my lips part in a silent gasp. Standing about a yard away from me, in all of his tall glory, was Jacob Black. At first i thought it might have been Sam, but there was no doubt that it was Jacob. His eyes widened before turning angry and leaping another two yards back.

"You're one of them." He hissed. He brought his hand over his nose. "Ugh, you reek of them." I just stared.

"Jake--"

"So that's where you've been?" His voice was quiet, but I could hear the anger in it. I bit my lip. "Six years, and all this time you've been with _them?_" He gave a humorless laugh. "Did you even know that Charlie died? Yeah, he had a heart attack. Most likely because you just up and vanished. Do you have any idea how long I was looking for you? How I drove my pack insane how how much i was worried? I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I just searched. I must have looked all over Washington for you. How could you do this to me? To Charlie!" He stopped and shook his head disgustedly. I felt tears well up in my eyes. "What am I saying? You obviously don't care about me, or anyone for that matter. Bella, I honestly can't even bare to look at you anymore." That was it.

I was pissed.

"Would you just shut up, for once?" I asked through gritted teeth. He looked at me, astonished. I took a step towards him. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about. Don't pretend like you understand what happened."

"Oh, don't I?"

"No," I yelled. "You don't! You don't understand anything but how _you_ feel. If you actually understood, then you would know that I didn't choose this." He let out a growl and I growled in return.

"Don't you lie to me, Bella. You told me yourself that this was what you wanted, so don't stand there and fabricate!"

"Even so," I said. My voice was wry and edgy. "That wasn't how it happened." He became enraged.

"You mean they did this without your permission?" I let out an exhasperated sigh and took another two steps forward.

"NO!" I yelled almost in his face. "It wasn't them."

"Then who?" he screamed back. I sighed.

"It was Victoria!" I closed my eyes as soon as the words left my mouth and mentally kicked myself for saying anything.

"And they couldn't protect you? Useless things! They know all about taking a life, but when it comes to saving one--"

"Yeah, well I was murdered in your forest, Jacob, where were you?" This shut him up. I continued, "Would you like to know the details? Okay, I'll tell you. I was the most unstable person in this town and you wouldn't even return my _phone calls._" He didn't say anything and just looked at the ground.

"Edward was gone, Charlie was gone, and as far as you were concerned, you were gone too. I must have called you at least five times that night but you didn't want to talk to me.

"She chased me all through your God-forsaken forest and tossed me into a tree, which by the way dislocated my shoulder, before killing me." Jacob didn't even look at me. "I laid there for three days, screaming my head off. And you _never _found me. So stop looking for someone to blame, because you didn't help much at the time."

"So you're saying it's my fault?"

"No, I'm saying that it would have helped if you were there." I said sharply. "Why did you do it, Jake?" He looked confused.

"Do what?" I grasped my hair in frustration.

"Do what? You isolated me!" His eyes went wide and he gasped. "I was in love with Edward and not you. You forced me to choose between you two. When I chose Edward, you punished me. You made me suffer over something I had abosolutely _no_ control over. You should know better than anyone that we can't choose who we fall in love with." My voice became quiet. "It just happened. You claimed to love me..." My eyes watered and I looked up at him. "But if you loved me, why did you cause me so much pain? You said you didn't like to hurt me, but how could you put me through that?" His face was tortured but he didn't say anything. I rubbed my face with my sleeve and sighed heavily.

"I don't need this." I said venemously. "I don't need to stand here and tell you where you went wrong because you should know. And if you truly have no idea what you did, then all I have to say is that you are completely ignorant. You have ridiculed and insulted me in every way possible and I'm not goin to put up with it. Good-bye, Jacob." I pushed past him and bolted in an inhuman speed. I needed to get away from him.

I knew the perfect place.

**------------------------------------------------------**

I stepped into the sun and gave a blissful sigh as I felt the sun kiss my pale, cold skin. I tugged my turtleneck over my head and laid it on the ground before lying over it. I held my hand up and watched as it sparkled and glittered in the warm light. I closed my eyes and listened peacefully.

It wasn't long before I felt a cold head lay in the crook of my neck.

"You look so beautiful like that." A velvety voice said. I smiled and opened my eyes. Edward kissed my temple and we switched positions so that I was laying on his chest while he had his arms wrapped around me. "Let's stay like this forever." He murmered into my hair.

"I agree, let's." He let out a laugh and I propped my head up on my chin so that I gazed into his eyes. "What?"

"I wasn't serious, Bella." He said softly. I rolled my eyes and laid back down.

"Well that's too bad, because I was." I heard a bird sing in the distance as the soft breeze swept through the trees. I never really appreaciated how wonderful the world was until I was given the ability to. Another thing to add on my 'up-side' list.

"So how was the visit?" I could tell he was trying to change the subject.

"You should know," I said with a tinge of playful annoyance in my voice. "You followed me the whole time." He laughed again.

"I had to make sure you remained safe."

"Stalker." I mumbled. He hugged me closer.

"Only for you." He whispered in a wave of cold breathe that sent shivers down my spine. He placed another kiss on my temple. It was feather-soft and bearlt felt, but the meaning was there. He proceeded to kiss my eyelids and then my nose... all over until he got to my lips. He captured them softly and cupped my face in his slender hands. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he continued to ravish my lips.

_Edward, Bella!_

"Go away." Edward mumbled against my lips. I smiled as Esme continued to call us. I knew she was probably standing in the backyard, but we could still hear her.

"Yo, Edward, quit eating Bella's face and hurry up." Emmett's voice was amused as always.

"Emmett..." I whined as Edward sighed and sat up.

"Yes, Emmett," Edward said wryly. "Don't you have something to do?" He shook his head.

"Nope, Carlisle wants to talk to you two." Thunder boomed and a streak of lightening shot accross the sky. He smirked. "And then, it's baseball time." I felt a grin spread accross my face. Edward laughed at the sight of it.

"Bella," He said as he kissed my neck. "Darling, your eyes are twinkling." I gave a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, I just finally get to play. It's exciting!" Emmett shook his head.

"Jeez, Bella, you sure are easy to please." Emmett gave a laugh. "I'll race you _both_ home." I snorted.

"I'll pass." I replied. "I was never a good runner when I was human, and I'm not much better as a vampire. The only thing different is that I don't fall down when I run."

"I'd say that's a big achievement." Edward said with a crooked smile. I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, I'll race you, Emmett." Edward hoisted me onto his back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Edward reached up and grasped one of my hands and kissed the inside of my palm. I responded by kissing his neck. "Bella, you call." I nodded.

"On your marks," They both crouched down. "Get set," I looked between the two of them. "Go!" They both sped off like bullets. Edward went so fast that I nearly flew off his back but luckily he grabbed my legs in time.

In almost a split second we were back home. The rest of the family were sitting on the lawn chairs save for Carlisle, who stood behind Esme's with his hand on her shoulder. Alice was grinning wildly. She leaned back and folded her arms behind her head.

"Told ya." Alice said. "Edward won." I jumped off of Edward's back and brushed some grass and twigs off my clothes.

"Well, of course, he won. Edward's always been the fastest runner." Jasper replied. While Alice and Jasper had their own little conversation, Carlisle inclined his head towards the door. Edward and I followed him automatically.

Carlisle closed the door to his study and sat behind his desk.

"Please, sit." We both sat down. I'm not sure what Edward felt, but I was feeling a bit nervous. What if he was going to tell me I couldn't stay? That it would be too dangerous to be around them?

"Bella, Edward, relax because you aren't in trouble." I relaxed a fraction of a bit. He said I wasn't in trouble, not that he wasn't going to kick me out. "I would just like to lay down some events that have occured in the past six years. Bella, this meeting is more for you than Edward."

Oh. My. God.

"You see, Bella, some things have changed since you've been gone."

A part of me dreaded what he was going to say next.

**------------------------------------------------------**

**OMFG!**

**This took me sooo long to type because my homosexual computer wouldn't save it. I would also like to warn you, that I just found out today that I'm flunking Biology. Which is totally retarted, because I passed it last year! Anyway, I'm not sure when the grade will be sent home, but when it is I don't think I'll be able to go on the computer for some time. I'll try my best to fudge my way out or intercept the letter, but should I fail this is my appology.**

**ps- to me this seems like the longest chapter I have written so far. **

**Praises are adored**

**Critisizm is valued.**

**And flames will be used to burn Aro at the stake**


	7. Delicate

**Hey there, peeps. So sorry for the delay, life has been simply CRAZY.**

**1. I've been in and out of the hospital getting bloodtests and what not cuz i was hit by a car on christmas eve.**

**2. I had the flu and it was NOT fun. I laid in bed for a week and a half unable to even open my eyes because of my pain. My advice is, if you haven't already, GET A FLU SHOT! SAVE YOURSELF!**

**So... yeah, complications arose in my life. I've also sort of been on writer's block for this chapter but I have had plenty of time to think about it and I'm pretty sure I have an idea of where this story's going.**

**FAQ**

**Q: Why is Jacob so mean?**

**A: He's not. If you paid close attention to _New Moon_ he was always sort of... sensitive when it came to Bella and the Cullens. Just leave it at this, he deserved it after what he said to her.**

**Q: Will Bella encounter anyone from her class back in high school?**

**A: That is still undecided. I mean, when you think about it, it has to happen eventually. She can't just stay in the Cullen's house all day.**

**Q: If six years ago Carlisle was supposedly in his early thirties, how does he explain his youthful appearance?**

**A: LMFAO! You'll see...**

_We might live like never before_

_When there's nothing to give_

_Well how can we ask for more?_

_We might make love in some sacred place_

_The look on your face is delicate_

**_Delicate- Damien Rice_**

* * *

I sat rigid in my seat as Carlisle continued. 

"Edward refused to leave Forks, incase you decided to return. So... naturally we had to improvise an idea on how to cover up our lack of aging." Edward smirked slightly and shook his head. I looked at him curiously.

"I'm not understanding you here." Edward began laughing his musical laughter. Carlisle joined him and I sat there cluelessly. "Yeah, ha-ha-ha, can you tell me what you're laughing at now?" Edward composed himself and coughed.

"Well, Bella," Carlisle said with a large smile on his face. "Our family has become strangely obsessed with plastic surgeory as of five years ago." I let out a snort of laughter.

"Are you _serious?_" I asked as I giggled. The Cullens. Perfectionally obsessed. I wondered what the town thought of them. Edward nodded. "Who'd a-thunk it?" I remarked.

"Indeed, who could have ever comprehended it. Another thing I would like to mention..." I didn't miss the glance Carlisle sent Edward, or the ever-so-slight nod Edward sent back. "Jacob Black." My stomach clenched. Carlisle leaned back in his seat.

"Edward has informed me that you had a little _reunion_ with him this morning." I growled at the thought. "Some changes regarding him have occured as well. Sam Uley recently passed away, no more than six months ago. I'm not exactly sure how, but Alice said he drowned." I frowned and squinted my eyes in confusion. He nodded. "My thoughts exactly. I have pondered it many times and I have come to the conclusion that the possibility is purely _im_possible." He sighs. "As it is, Jacob was appointed pack leader and his hate of vampires runs as deep as ever."

"He thinks we killed Sam." Edward said. I nodded slowly. No wonder Jacob was so angry with me. He thinks I'm living with the people who killed his leader. His friend. Carlisle continued.

"As I'm sure you heard last night, two people came into the hostpital last night. Campers, a man and a woman. The woman is in critical condition and the man was screaming wildly. He said giant dogs attacked him and his wife, and that it was more after his wife than him." Edward seemed to shift uncomfortably in his seat. I gave him a questioning glance but he shook his head.

"It's nothing." He muttered. I gave the same look to Carlisle and recieved the same response. There was something in between the lines. I could sense it. I shrugged it off, I'd bug Edward later.

"Is there anything else?" I asked. Carlisle seemed to shift uncomfortably. What more could he possibly tell me?

"There is one more thing." He hesitated. "You see, after you left, it was hard for some people to get over it. Whether you knew it or not, you were a very important person in this community. In fact, there was one person who never quite accepted it." There was a pause of silence.

"Jessica Stanley." Edward said. I turned my head to him and looked at him with wide eyes. "She felt it was her fault. She's never been the same." I felt my eyes brim with tears. Poor Jessica. Why would she...? And then I remembered it. I remembered it so clearly. I put my face in my hands.

"Oh my God." I swore. I looked back up at Carlisle and I felt the tears leak. "Why are you telling me this? You can't possibly mean...?" He nodded.

"I think you should pay her a visit." I gave him an appalled look. He wasn't serious!

"You can't mean that. I mean, six years have passed and all I have to show is a new haircut. I'll send her to the looney-bin!" I hadn't even realized that I was now standing and waving my arms wildly around. Carlisle sat in his desk with his chin perched on his folded hands.

"She's in the hospital dying of Hashimoto's Disease." I stopped and my arms fell to my sides. I could already feel the familiar feeling of the world crashing down on me as it creeped up.

"...What?" My voice cracked as I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat. Goose-bumps came up all over my body as my mind conjured up images of her laying helplessly in that hospital bed. I shoook my head of them. Think positive, I told myself.

"She's in the hospital dying, or rather _waiting_ to die. After you dissappeared, she became extremely depressed. I don't know what went on between you two, but it impacted her severely. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep, she just stared at a wall. Every now-and-then she would pass out from lack of sleep, but other than that she suffered from chronic insomnia. About three months later, she was rushed to the hospital and treated for malnourishment. I don't know how she lasted that long but my only conclusion is that she ate at some point in time.

"After that, she spent quite a while under medical observation, in other words she didn't leave the hospital. We managed to get her eating again but..." He trailed off. I felt tears building in my eyes again and I bit my lip so as not to shed them. I felt Edward grip my hand in an attempt to comfort me and I truly wished it worked. "You have to understand, Bella, this isn't your fault. There is the possibility that she genetically inherited it. There was truly nothing we could do for her. I perscribed her medicine to help it, but it spread to her thyroid, which regulates all things in your health. It attacked her body and completely desecrated her immune system." I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. Like someone had just kicked me in the chest.

"Carlisle said she's in the hospital waiting to die," Edward said. "But if you ask me, she died a while ago. Her empty shell isn't awaiting death, it's awaiting it's removal from the planet. From existance."

"I think her seeing you would help her move on. It would enable her to let go." My vision blurred again and I chewed my lip. The sight of my reflection took two years to get used to, how would Jessica take it?

"Okay." I said slowly. I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. "But, not today. Besides," I smiled brightly. "We've got a baseball game to play, don't we?" Carlisle smiled back at me.

"Of course, and this time you can join us!" I laughed and Edward hugged me from behind. I closed my eyes and relinquished the feeling of his arms around me.

"Come on," he whispered in my ear. "Let's go." I hadn't even noticed that rain had steadily began to pour down outside.

* * *

Two hours later we stampeded into the house sopping wet and with the intense flow of adrenaline pumping through my veins like never before. 

"We _so_ won that game!" Emmett gloated.

"Yeah right, everyone knows _we_ kicked your sorry butts!" Jasper argued back.

"Dude, we won by like a landslide, there's no way you won."

"Esme," Jasper called. "Who won?"

"It was a tie." Everyone besides Jasper and Emmett answered. They both continued to argue.

"Hey, Edward, I'll be right back. I'm going to change." He nodded and gave me a peck on the lips. I darted upstairs and closed the door. I leaned against it for a moment and listened to the infinite silence. All there was was the sound of the raindrops tapping the window speadily, but if I listened carefully, I could hear the pattern.

_Tap, tap._

_Tap, tap._

_Tap, tap._

I smiled and closed my eyes. I listened to the steady beats and, for a moment, could hear the heart that no longer beat within me.

_Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump._

I place my hand over my chest and focused on trying to feel it. Hoping that for one second I could feel my motionless heart beat only once. I concentrated.

It was no use. My skin was cold and my heart was dead. I was dead. I raked my hands through my dripping hair and slowly peeled my wet clothes from my body. I folded them neatly and dropped them into the hamper. I laughed at myself for for folding the clothes and then tossing them in the basket. It was truly pointless and a waist of good time. I sighed at that word. _Time._ Who was I kidding? I had more than enough time. Hell, I had all the time in the world. I'll fold all my clothes before putting them in the hamper because it's impossible for me to waste time.

I laughed humorlessly.

I had time wrapped around my pale, skinny finger. Life should be good.

The sounds of the Television drifted up from downstairs.

Nevermind that-- life is good. Life is wonderful. Life is...

There was a knock at the door.

"Bella? Did you die?" Alice's voice spoke through the door. She giggled at her own joke. I shook my head and tugged a sweat shirt and pants on.

"No, a tad bit late for that." I opened the door and was shocked to see Alice standing terribly still with a frightened look on her face. I wrinkled my brow in worry. "What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost." She gulped.

"Not seen," she said "_Smelled._" Next I remember was Edward at my side.

"Are you okay?" He asked Alice. Alice looked at him with wide eyes but didn't respond. "You smelled it too...?" I looked at him in confusion.

"Smelled what? A ghost?" He opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the door bell. A growl rumbled in his throat.

"I'll get it!" Emmett called, apparently he hadn't caught onto whatever Alice and Edward had.

"No!" Edward and Alice yelled. All three of us jumped down the stairs as he opened it.

"What in the hell...?" Emmett's voice said. I pushed Edward out of the way and gaped. Standing in the doorway, was my old rival Lauren (too lazy to look up her last name). Her once short blonde hair was now long and wavy not to mention platnium. Her eyes, a deep wine color and her skin was chalky white. She smiled.

"Hello there, Bella." She said. "How nice to see you again." Edward yanked me behind him and hissed.

"Why are you here?" He asked. Lauren's eyes never left me. "How are you here?" Something in her eyes made me shiver. Lauren and I had never been close or even friendly, but I knew her well enough to know that she was different. By different I didn't mean older, for she stood befor me, her face and body aged with the six years I should have. I almost felt self-concious-- like a little girl.

"I heard she was back, had to see it for myself." Lauren replis nonchalantly. She took a step towards me and he growled.

"How are you here?" She looked at him, her eyes bright as summer morning.

"You of all people should know that, Edward. You know exactly how I'm here. What you don't know is who is the cause for my prolonged life." Everybody waited in silence for her to speak. "Oh, that I'll never tell you."

"Am I missing something?" I whispered to Edward. Lauren's eyes darted back to me and she smiled again.

"Lauren, here, died a week ago." Emmett spoke. I looked at her in disbelief and it all fell in place. I suddenly felt embarrassed for not noticing her changes in appearance.

"And Emmett, here, is mistaken." She bored into my eyes so deep that I couldn't turn away from her. "I was _born_ a week ago. And only Bella knows who did it." Everyone turned and looked at me. I stared at her incredulously.

"_Me?_" She pointed her long pale finger at me.

"You." My mouth flapped open and closed like a fish.

"I have no idea who changed you, I wasn't even here a week ago. I was in London. Ask anyone in this room." She let out a small laugh and I stood there flabbergasted.

"That doesn't mean to say you don't know, dear Isabella." She stared expectantly with her red eyes. They gleamed her her sockets like fresh polished rubies. She smiled the sort of smile that made me shiver.

"Leave here." Edward said sharply. Lauren sighed.

"If you insist. But I'll be back."

"It's best if you aren't." Emmet replied, cracking his knuckles. She gave a small laugh and shook her head. Then she was gone.

I stood there, dumbfounded.

"Jeez," I gasped in exhasperation. "What a bitch." Edward laughed and hugged me.

"What a bitch indeed." He kissed the top of my head and stroked the back of my neck with his thumb. He picked me up in his arms and carried me up the stairs. I closed my eyes and, for a moment, almost felt human again. For a moment I could feel the cold seeping through my shirt as though it wasn't my own. For a moment I could inhale his smell as though being near him was the only way to be exposed to it.

He laid me down on his bed and leaned his head in the crook of my neck. I opened my eyes and giggled at the sight of him. He looked like a little child, staring at his mother. He laughed along with me and then his eyes became glued to my neck. I squinted my eyes in confusion.

"Wha--" My question was answered as he ran his finger along a spot on my neck that sent electric shocks all through my body. I stared worriedly at him. His face was emotionless but his jaw was tight and his lips were thin. He had just traced the creasant shaped scar on my neck, the parting gift from Victoria. He leaned his forehead against it.

"I'm sorry." he whispered and his shoulders shook slightly. He was sobbing. "I'm so sorry." I wrapped my arms around him and cradled him like the delicate thing he had temporarily become.

"I don't blame you." I said to him.

"I know," His voice was soft. "But I do." It was my turn to kiss his head. To give him time to feel human.

To the human eye we may seem like super-beings. Like steel-formed persons who can't be hurt. Physically or emotionally. They're wrong. We hurt. We hurt like no human could ever understand. We carry years fold of pain on our shoulders. Most of us may not be able to cry, but the few who can understand how precious that one function is. They don't understand that just beause our hearts are no long working, that doesn't mean they aren't there.

The truth of the matter is, we are really just as human emotionally as the rest of them.

We're as delicate, if not more.

* * *

**Woah. Done. O.O**

**This is an epic moment. **

**Okay, again, i'm sorry for not updating. Life is hectic. Not to mention I have finals next week. B-E-A-Utiful.**

**So I can't exactly say when the next chapter will be up.**

**For now, i'm gonna play it safe and say within the next... 2 or 3 weeks.**

**Sorry . **

**Praises are adored.**

**Critisism is valued.**

**And flames will be used to burn Aro at the stake.**


	8. You Learn

**Questions**

**Q1: Will Lauren play a major part in the story?**

**A1: Hard to say, I still haven't decided, but I'll probably know by the end of the chapter.**

**Q2: Does Bella really know who changed Lauren?**

**A2: She does, she just doesn't realize it yet.**

**Q3: (This was a question that was sent to me in an email) Are Bella and Edward ever going to have sex?**

**A3: Wtf? Where the hell is your mind??? They're together and in love, isn't that enough for you? Gosh.**

**Q4: What is Hashimoto's disease? What made you incorperate that into the story?**

**A4: Hashimoto's disease is an autoimmune disorder where your antibodies attack the cells of your thyroid. Your thyroid is what regulates everything in your body from your metabolism to various other bodily functions. In some cases it can be fatal. It is often treatable, but read on to see why Jessica's isn't. I put it in the story for no particular reason, but I have it so I guess that might have influenced me somewhat.**

_I recommend biting of more than you can chew to anyone_

_I certainly do_

_I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time_

_Feel free_

_Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)_

_Hold it up (to the rays)_

_You wait and see when the smoke clears_

**You Learn- Alanis Morisette**

* * *

I tapped my thumbs against the steering wheel as I stared up at the building. I was still debating whether or not I should go in. I slumped in my seat and chewed my lip. 

It had been almost a week since the Lauren incident. Edward had been skeptical about letting me walk out of the house in broad daylight, so he insisted on buying me a car. I was convinced he was only doing it to annoy me. Then again, I did need a car considering my beloved truck had rusted into dust over the years. It was a brand-new, shiny silver Ford Escape. I had picked it out myself. Not to say I wanted it; I just preferred it more than the Audi Coupe he was leaning me towards.

"I feel so small," I said as I sat behind the wheel. "It's too low to the ground, everytime a Mack truck goes by I'll have a heart attack." Edward gave me a look. "You know what I mean."

I breathed in heavily. The car still smelled faintly of "New Car" despite the little pine tree air-freshner that hung from the rear-view mirror. I always hated the "New Car" smell. It made me nauseous, even as a vampire.

"Okay," I said to myself. "I'm going in."

* * *

It had only taken me fifteen minutes to get out of the car. It would have taken only ten if I hadn't attempted to get out while still wearing me seatbelt and from there I then proceded to swear and stare at it until I remembered I actually had to _unbuckle_ the seatbelt to get out. 

I know stood in front of the building, about ten yards from my car. Tremendous achievement, I know.

My feet shuffled as I glanced around. Mentally kicking my own rear-end, I began to walk forward. My feet felt heavy as stone. I passed the reception desk, not bothering to stop. There was no point, I could find her on my own.

Finally, I reached the door. I wrung my hands. I've made it this far, I told myself. I looked around quickly and then slipped it, clicking the door shut silently. I heard a sharp gasp behind her. I turned around slowly and my heart broke.

Jessica Stanley, a girl whom had once been the closest to a best friend I had, laid there in the hospital bed. She was skinnier and paler than I'd remembered. It lay still and fla attop her head like a little boy's. Almost like Alice's, but with less gravity defiance. She was all one color, a pasty ivory. Her lips were chapped and her eyes were bloodshot with an alarmed look inside of them.

Immediatly, I remembered the last time I had heard from her.

**_Six Years Ago_**

_I laid in my bed silently, listening to the sound of the rain pouring outside the window. I didn't really hear them, they were just there. My gaze was focused blankly on the cieling. I was brought to my senses by the phone ringing in the kitchen. I dragged myself from the bed and trudged crookedly down the hall. Halfway down the stairs, I tripped and tumbled down. I didn't make a sound. No yelp, no gasp. I just stood up wordlessly and continued to the kitchen. I ansered the phone._

_"Hello?" My voice was quiet, and sounded tired._

_"Bella? Hey, It's Jessica!"_

_"Oh, hey." A part of me was dissapointed. I had hoped it had been Edward, calling to say they were on their way back. The other part of me was too drugged up to care._

_"I'm sorry, did I wake you? You sound sorta drowsy." I shook my head to nobody in particular._

_"No," I said as I dragged my hand accross my eyes. "I was just sorta... mentally asleep. I've been kinda slow these days." I yanked the chair from the table over to me and slumped down. My fingers unconciously played with the phone cord._

_"Yeah, you haven't been coming to school lately. Is everything alright?" My throat tightened._

_"No." It was almost a gurgle. "It's not." Silent tears began to fall down my face and this time Edward wasn't here to wipe them away._

_"Bella... Look, I know I wasn't very supportive to you after Edward left." I snorted. That was an understatement. "But, I really want to be friends again. The way we used to be." There was silence after that. Oh yeah, it's my turn to speak._

_"Alright." My lips moved for me. A sigh of relief came from the other end._

_"Great! Listen, Mike, Angela, Lauren, Tyler and I are going clubbing down in Seattle on Saturday. Do you think you could--"_

_"I can't." There was no emotion in my voice. "Edward's coming back on Saturday." There was another sigh, but not of relief. This was more of annoyance._

_"Come on, Bella. You can see Edward when we get back. How many oppertunities will there be to have fun like this? You know, just let loose and dance?"_

_"I don't dance." There was more silence._

_"You danced with Edward at prom." Her voice was quiet, yet accusing. "And with a cast on your leg, too." _

_"He tricked me into going. I thought I'd told you that."_

_"I bet you still would have gone." I paused, partly in shock. _

_"Jess, what do you--"_

_"Oh, come on, Bella!" Her voice was beggining to rise. "Everyone knows your his devout follower! He calls and you come. He has you wrapped around his pale, perfect finger and you love every minute of it. You look at him as though he's a freaking patron saint!" Why was she doing this? What had I ever done to her? Still, I didn't respond._

_"See, you won't even deny it! Do you know how many times I'd asked Edward out before you came? How much it hurt everytime he turned me down? And then you came along, and in one day he's staring at you! And not only him, but Mike too. You just never stop! You know, there are rumors going around that the reason you haven't been coming to school is because Edward got you pregnant!" I ground my teeth._

_"And who started these rumors? Lauren?" Jessica didn't answer. _

_"You have to admit, Bella" Her voice had gotten quiet now, but handn't lost it's accusing edge.. You do spend an awful lot of time with him. With **them.**"_

_"What exactly are you trying to say?"_

_"I'm saying, I wouldn't be surprised if they were true." I didn't speak. It wasn't until I heard the dial-tone that I realized she had hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it with wide eyes. Before I could stop myself, I had hurled it accross the room. It hit the wall and shattered. I felt my stomach twist. I was getting too excited. But the twisting didn't cease. I clamped my hand on my mouth and stumbled up the stairs, bumping into the walls all the way. I reached the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. My stomach convulsed and my shoulders heaved until there was nothing left to give up. I closed my eyes and slammed the lid shut before the spewing smell could reach me and start me off again. Eyes still shut, I groped from the knob and flushed them away forever. _

_I grasped the sink and hoisted myself up, using the wall as my support. I squirted some toothpaste onto the brush and scrubbed away the horrid taste. I spalshed my face with cold water, and went back to my room. I collapsed onto the bed and curled up into the fetal position. There was so much pain. Emotional and physical. My body ached all over and I couldn't stop the tears. Everyone was leaving me. Mom, Jessica. Soon I would be completely alone. I opened the pill bottle and poured some into my hand. The doctor had said to take two every two hours. There must have been at least five in my hand. I popped them into my mouth and rinsed them down with a glass of water. Already I felt better._

_I returned to laying silently. Tears lay dry on my face and my muscles hurt. I hurt a click and then I realized I wasn't alone. My eyes lit up. That's why he hadn't called! It was a surprise. I sprung up. I couldn't wait until he held me in his arms. My hope was shattered along with my heart when I saw her standing in my doorway. Her, the wild female with crazy red hair. I instantly shrunk back against my headboard but she just stood there, arms crossed and staring. _

_**Run.** The voice in the back of my head spoke. **Run for your life!**_

_So I did. I ran dizzidly past her, expecting to feel a tug of my hair or a pull at my shirt. None came, so I ran on. My knees buckled at the stairs, making me fall again, but I didn't let that stop me. I ran through the kitchen and through the dead-bolt, racing outside. In a matter of seconds I was soaked. The rain water washed away my dried tears, and disguised my fresh ones._

**_Present_**

"Hello," Her raspy voice said. I was relieved that she hadn't recognized me. Then again, as much as I hadn't aged, I did look slightly different. In addition to my hair and skin, I was currently sporting a pair of brand-new sunglasses that were very large and covered up my eyes. They were brand-name glasses, but I didn't dare allow myself to imagine how much they cost or how Alice had obtained them. My jeep hat covered my short hair and probably made my face look more defined. I also wore slightly different clothes (more expensive to say the least) than I did "back in the day". She sighed heavily, reminding me of myself.

"I guess you must be that grief counseling person." My eyes clearly showed confusion but were hidden to her. "I swear, my mom can be so crazy sometimes. She really worries too much." She wheezed and reached for a glass on the bedside table.

"Here, I'll get it." I picked the glass up and handed it to her. She took a long, slurping sip and handed the glass back to me. I returned it to the table and sat in an armchair. We sat in silence for a few moments. "So..." I began. "You want to talk?" She sighed again and rubbed her forehead.

"Might as well get this over with." I nodded. More silence.

"Where would you like to start?" Her tongue went along her gums beneath her lips. She glanced me up and down.

"Aren't you going to take your sunglasses off?" I shook my head.

"I have sensitive eyes. It's easier for me this way." Not a complete lie.

"I could close the curtains..." I held my hands up.

"No, really, it's fine. This next hour is all about you." She nodded and leaned back into her mound of pillows.

"Well, how long have you lived here?" I shifted in my seat and crossed my legs.

"Not long. Nearly a year." She nodded.

"Well, you probably didn't know Bella Swan. Isabella, actually." Her voice was pained as she said my name. "You kinda look like her. I mean, her skin was a little... less pale, more or less the way mine is now." I noted that her skin was considerably lighter than her usual olive tone. "And.. her hair was darker and longer... but your build is similar. Bone structure too." She smiled fondly. "She was a really pretty girl. I would never admit it, but she really was pretty. And not pretty in that cute, country-girl sorta way, but in the..." She trailed off, her eyes searching wildly. "Regal sorta way. You know, she kinda had this rennaisance kind of beauty about her." I propped my head up on my elbow.

"What was she like?" I was thoroughly astounded by the way she described me but didn't let it show. She frowned.

"She was very quiet, very shy. Sometimes she almost seemed sad. I mean, there were times when I would look at her and my heart would just... ache." She wrung her hands. "I was never very nice to her. Sometimes I acted like a friend to her, but I never really thought of myself as one. Not then, atleast. I was jealous of her."

"Why's that?" Now I was genuinly interested.

"Like I said, she was pretty. All the guys were after her on her first day. She had acheieved what no girl, including me, ever could. I guess it put me on the war-path with her. Especially when she started going out with Edward Cullen."

"Who's he?" Her eyes almost swooned.

"He was the hottest guy in high school. All of the Cullens were. They were so hot that nobody spoke to them. They were like Gods and we were the mortals who weren't worthy to speak to them. Edward was probably the best looking because the other two guys were taken. But, first day, Bella had Edward staring at her. And as the year went on, it turned into a full relationship. Every girl envied her."

"Were you one of those girls?" My voice was quiet. Jessica looked ashamed. She put her hands over her face. In almost a whisper she spoke.

"...Yes." I was quiet for a moment.

"I see."

* * *

"Ugh..." I sighed as I flopped down on the bed. "What a day." 

"Want to talk about it?" The fact that Alice was suddenly laying next to me didn't shock me. It was a purely natural thing in my life. I placed my hands on my face and dragged them along.

"...Not really." I made what sounded like a long gagging noise. "I went and saw Jessica Stanley today." She nodded slowly. "And totally screwed myself over."

"What happened?"

"She thinks I'm a grief counsoler." Alice snorted. I hit her with a pillow.

"S'not funny." I moaned again. "What the heck am I gonna do?" Alice shrugged and snatched the pillow from me, tucking it under her chin.

"Go along with it?" I gave her a look. She was quick to defend herself. "I mean, what other choice to you have." I stole the pillow from her and held it over my face.

"It's not that simple." My voice was muffled by the pillow but Alice could understand me.

* * *

Sure enough, as the day dragged on it got even worse. How? 

Stupid gas stations.

I drove down the road, the volume of the radio low as can be. Low as it was, I was still able to hear it. The blinking light signaling I was close to empty was starting to annoy me. I sighed (for about the hundreth time today) and ignored it. As fate would have it, I ran out of gas. On an empty road in the middle of nowhere. I gritted my teeth. Perfect.

I hopped out of the car and positioned myself behind it. I squinted my eyes and pushed the slightest bit. The car rolled forward. I cheered.

The smell of gas was strong, meaning there was a station at least a few miles away. There was no way I could push my car that far without making it fly. I screamed in frustration, This was just one of those "everything happens to me" days. I pushed my car to the side of the road, ensuring it wouldn't hold up what microscopic bit of traffic that might pass through. I looked around briefly, and then bolted, the sound of my sneakers hitting the road barely audible. I stopped about a half-mile before the station just to be careful. I walked towards the little store, the ringing of the bell as I opened the door stinging my ears.

"Excuse me," I said. The clerk was a high school boy with spiked hair who was currently hunched over a textbook. His hair reminded me of Mike, making me smile slightly. He looked up briefly and grunted, but then double-taked and looked me up and down. He smiled.

"Yes?" His voice still had a boyish tinge to it. Judging by his physical appearance, I doubt he was anything higher than a junior. Sophmore, more like it.

"Hi, my car ran out of gas a few miles down the road." I pointed the way it was. "I was wondering if I could borrow a gas can with enough gas to get me here, then I'll return and pay." He just stared. "Ummm... please?" He shook his head.

"Oh, yeah, sure." He didn't move.

"Can I have the gas can please?" He blushed slightly and jumped, looking around. "I think they're in the back."

"Yeah... That would make sense." He stumbled as he made his way to the back. Him going to the back left me in the store alone. I tapped my foot and looked around. The place reeked of soda and cleaning products. The lack of persona in the room made the air tense. The ringing silence in my ears was mixed with a song playing from the speakers. Some girl talking about how her hips don't tell lies.

I crossed my arms and stood awkwardly. After what seemed like an eternity, the boy returned with a the gas can. He stood there dumbly.

Oh, for the love of God!

I cleared my throat subtly. He didn't budge. Just stared. "So... did you find one?" He looked confused, yet at the same time dazed.

"One what?"

"A gas can" His eyes darted around and his brow furrowed. Then realization dawned on him. Finally!

"Oh, yeah, I did." Two seconds wnet by... five... ten... thirty seconds...

"May I have it?" His cheeks reddened and he thrust it into my chest, slopping drops of gasoline onto my clothes and chin. If I had still be human it would have made me stumble. Lucky me.

"Thank you." I murmered and then turned on my heel and stalked out. As I was walking out, a red Jeep pulled up. Out hopped a man in blue jeans and a red sweatshirt that said something about NYC pizza. He turned his head, not noticing me, but revealing the face of an older, taller Mike Newton. His boyish face was no longer boyish. It was more defined and rather handsome. His blonde hair was a tad-bit darker and shorter than when I saw him last. He looked more muscular and his face beheld the coarse hairs of five-o-clock shadow. To my shock, as he pumped gas I caught a glimpse of gold; a wedding ring. To my absolute horror, I little blonde girl sat in the back seat, no older than three or four maybe, knock anxiously on the window. I pushed my cap down and walked quickly past.

When I reached my car, it was as it was. I filled up the tank with the gas in the can and then carefully placed the can in the back after wrapping it in a dry-cleaning bag that originally was over a pair of Swarovsky encrusted jeans of Rosalie's, an errand she had given me earlier. Hey, the jeans could suffer some dust if it meant my car wouldn't smell like gas. Of course, the bag didn't help much with my sense of smell.

I swore as I pulled up to the station. Now all the slots were filled save one. One that was sitting next to Mike Newton, who was currently washing _all_ of his windows. Reluctantly, I pulled forward and parked, getting out slowly and trying to act as casual as possible. I shoved the pump into the tank and walked to the store.

"Here, thanks so much" I said to the teenager. He nodded.

"Anytime!" Yeah, sure. As I turned, I bumped right into somebody. My eyes were face-to-face with some gobbledegook about NYC pizza. Fear swept through me.

Crap, how am I gonna get out of this?

"Oh, hey, Alice." His much deeper voice said. "How've you been?" How lucky am I?

"Oh, uhh..." I said in a higher voice similar to Alice's. "Um... super!" I said with a thumbs up. Good thing I was wearing sunglasses. My eyes might of given me away.

"That's good, I haven't seen you in awhile."

"Oh, yeah... me too, haven't seen you in awhile... too..." What the hell? What am I saying! My gaze shifted to the little girl who was now crying in the backseat. "Is she okay?" I asked. He turned around.

"Who, Nelly? Nah, she's fine. She's just a little cranky. It's past her naptime."

"She's gotten... bigger. I forgot, how old is she?"

"Oh, she just turned three... Alice, are you feeling okay? You were at the birthday, remember? You did face-painting." His face was concerned. Oh no, I just blew it! Quick, cover-up!

"Oh... oh yeah, now I remember! Sorry, so much going on at the house. All the hectic...ness, you know, I'm sorta absent minded." Oh... my... GOD! "Well, anyway, gotta go... I-- Rosalie's dry-cleaning is calling to her, if you know what I mean. Send my love to your lovely wife!" As I walked past him he caught my wrist and looked at me, his face was _thoroughly_ concerned now.

"Alice... I'm worried about you. Penelope's been dead for three years, you know that. You came to the funeral." I gulped.

"You know what? I need a long nap... yeah, a _really_ long nap. You and Nelly take care!" With that, I power-walked back to the car and shoved the pump back in it's holder. I swiped my card through the machine at lightning speed and then jumped in the car, speeding off into the distance.

Like I said, "everything's happening to me" day.


	9. Oh Sailor

Helllooooooooooo!!!

Yes, it is true, I am not dead.

Sorry about all of this...

I know, I'm horrible, but my life is hectic /

**Questions**

**Q1: What's the deal with Mike and Nelly?**

**A1: Well, as some of you may have figured out, Mike got married and had a child. Well, here's the breakdown, edited and shortened so that the rest can be filled in as the story progresses. About a year after Bella had left, Mike met the lovely Penelope Vince. About a year after that, they got married and then, shortly after, Penelope died in child birth with Nelly (AKA, Penelope Jr.). There you go.**

**Q2: Why does everyone mistake Bella for Alice?**

**A2: Yeah, this is a question I keep asking myself. Hell, I wrote the story and I still don't get it. Basically, Bella has short hair, Alice has short hair. Bella has pale skin, Alice has pale skin. Granted, Bella is probably about five inches taller than her, but we'll sit aside that. When it came to Jacob, he saw a dark haired person who smelled like a vampire. With Mike... Yeah, I was a little retarted in that sense.**

**Q3: Will Bella continue seeing Jessica as a grief counselor?**

**A3: Just between you and I... yeah. It'll play a potentially big side-story-esque type thing.**

**Q4: Will Bella ever reveal herself to Jessica?**

**A4: I'm still undecided in that department.**

_Everything good I deem too good to be trueEverything else is just a bore_

_Everything I have to look forward to_

_Has a pretty painful and a very imposing before_

**_Oh sailor- Fiona Apple_**

**

* * *

**

With a flick of my wrist, the car was off and I lingered there for a moment, in shock of the hours past. I opened the door at an all-too-human speed and approached the door. As my hand grasped the knob, I head Alice's voice call.

"Hi, Bella!" I smiled slightly and let myself in. I heaved a breath and slipped my jacket off and hung it absentmindedly on the coat rack. Alice slid down the rail of the stairs and landed in front of me with her hand on her hips and her chin held high. She looked like a mock-super hero. I tiny... tiny super hero. She sniffed and pinched her nose.

"Ew, Bella, you smell like gasoline." She glanced behind me through the window. No doubt scoping out my vehicle. "Car trouble?" I shrugged.

"You could say that." I walked into the living room not even fully aware of my actions. Once I sat on the couch, I stopped and looked around. "Whoa." Alice was watching with the same look I expect my face beheld.

"Yeah... wow, you're like a _zombie_ or something." As she spoke, she crossed her eyes and held her arms out. I laughed and shook my head.

"No, it's more like..." I put a blank stare on and left my mouth agape while stretching my arms out not quite like Alice's, more distorted and lopsided. I walked forward with my left foot turned inward and my right sliding along clumsily. "_Brains..._" I moaned. Alice giggled and mimicked me. "_Brains...!_" We both called as we staggered all around the room.

I limped towards her, calling for my cranial organ.

"_Brains...!_" Alice yelped when I grasped the back of her shirt. She started running, but at a seemingly "normal" pace. My moaning grew persistant.

"_Brains... Brains... Give me brains!_" I tackled her and she flipped over, landing us on the coach. I continued. "_Brains!!!_" I was too caught up in our game that I hadn't even noticed the two other people in the room.

"...Should we break it up?" Jasper's voice asked. Emmet chuckled.

"Naw, I hear this is supposed to be some kind of huge turn-on for humans. Let's observe."

Alice and I collapsed in a fit of laughter on the couch.

And then it happened.

It occured before I even realized my glove was astray, exposing my thumb. It brushed Alice's bare arm for a split-second, not long enough for me to see anything terribly important.

Just long enough for me to receive one image that passed across my mind like sound.

The knotted design of a Celtic rosette. It was an image I knew strangely well. Well enough for it to send a jolt of worry down my spine. I shook it off quickly.

"So..." I searched for a topic to cover my fear. "What's the deal with Mike Newton." Alice glanced at me and shrugged.

"A lot can happen in six years. Don't get me wrong, Bella, when you disappeared everyone searched for you. Ultimately, they all decided there was nothing left to do. The constant rain had washed away scent and fibers and eventually everybody's hope. They had a memorial service for you and practically the entire town attended it. I didn't witness it myself, being under certain circumstances, the majority of the high school along with the Quileute tribe had a paper burning ceremony."

"What's that?" I asked, genuinly confused. Alice began to draw shapes in the suede of the couch.

"It's when the name of the deceased is written on a sheet of papyrus. The papyrus is then lit aflame by someone close to the deceased. In this case, it was Jacob Black." My heart stung at the mention of his name. "When the paper is lit, the person let's it go and it turns to embers in the wind. That's to signify death. The ceremony is closed by candle-lit water which is when all who attended light a special candle and place them in the ocean, allowing them to float off to sea. This means rebirth. I've seen pictures of it and believe me, I couldn't count how many little flames were on that black ocean."

I was speachless. "Wow..." I breathed. Alice nodded.

"Anyway, after six months everyone had about recovered. By this time our senior class had already graduated and the college semester had started. Mike had gone off to Washington University in Seattle and while there met Penelope Vince, a junior at W.U. who was majoring in music theory, she played the Violin." Alice had long since walked across the room to the little desk in the corner. She pulled open the drawer and retrieved a picture frame. She looked at it and smiled. She passed it to me and I looked it over.

The picture was of Mike and Penelope Vince on their wedding day. The Mike in this picture looked more like the Mike Newton I remembered. He wasn't as muscular as he is now and his hair was at the length I recalled, only in this picture it was slicked back. My lips parted in a silent gasp at the sight of Penelope. She was breath-taking. her long hair was a waterfall of perfect honey colored curls. her skin was, if in the right light, the exact color of ivory; fair, yet with an olive tinge. Her eyes were brilliantly green, and not just the color that most people merely call green--they were _green. _

They were the seemingly perfect couple, save for one thing. It had taken me a second to understand the difference in their height. How he seemed to be purposely slouched and leaning forward slightly. How she seemed to be a good two feet shorter than her with the rest of her body not adding up to her seemingly small body.

Then it dawned on me. Alice, seemed to have read my mind and spoke my words for me.

"A tumor," she said quietly. "At the bottom of her spine. The only way to remove it was to take the bottom with it. She hadn't been able to walk since she was fifteen." Pity washed though me. This poor, perfect girl. Her beauty almost marred by the contraption she had been confined to her entire life. How horrible it must have been to have to sit on your own wedding day. To never have experienced your first dance with the one you love. My hand cupped my covered my mouth as I swallowed a sob.

"Was that...?" I felt Alice nod next to me.

"The tumor itself didn't kill her, but it was the ultimate cause. The healing in her spine formed a clot that traveled through her body and laid dormant for years. All it took was enough stress and blood pressure to do it.. It went to her lungs while she was in labor and caused them to shut down. her brain was deprived of oxygen and she went into a vegetative state. Mike pulled the plug six months later."

"Oh," I said. Just oh. What more was there to say? Sure, I could feel sad all I wanted. I could pity Penelope and Mike, because it would make me feel better.

In my heart, I know it would have been in vain.

I stared longer at the picture, at this stunningly beautiful woman. My heart ached at the fact that I had been given the ability to live forever when she could not have even been given the privelege of seeing her daughter grow up. My eyes may have been locked on her smile, but that wasn't to say I wasn't completely alert. So when a familiar scent crossed my nose, I was alert before anyone could blink.

Emmet, Jasper, and Alice all stood completely still, listening intently no doubt. My back was rigid I could almost feel the phantom pulse drumming inside my body.

"Bella," Alice's soft voice was laced with concern. I took long, lightning fast stride towards the sliding-glass door and flung it open, nearly shattering the glass. I swung my head around wildly in anger.

_How dare she follow me here!_

My thoughts raced through my head.

"Come out, you cowards!" I called.

"Courseness, Isabella," I heard her voice. That annoying British voice of hers. I wheeled around, my eyes blazing. "Has never been an attractive trait of yours. Much like your hair and clothes." She sat there, on the railing of the patio stairs with her posture straight and proper.

Just the sight of her pissed me off. I raised a white hand and pointed a finger at her.

"How _dare_ you!" I screamed. Next thing I knew, I was flying at her. She was gone before i had the time to catch up with her. i felt a sharp pain in the square of my back and I was on my stomach with my arm pinned behind me. I writhed in anger and heard Alice, Emmet, and Jasper growling. I knew why the growls didn't grow closer.

"You let go of me this instant!" I snarled towards her. Her honey colored hair fell and grazed my shoulders. From where I was, I couldn't turn my head to see her face. Not that I was entirely sure it had changed much. At this point, all I could do was glare at the mud on her riding boots.

"I do believe you are quite behind on your etiquette lessons." Her prim voice said calmly. "Once I hear the word that proves me wrong, I'll release you." I grit my teeth in protest, determined to fight it. She spoke again:

_"Say please, Isabella."_ Her voice echoed inside my head. I felt my muscles of my jaw begin to losen and I shut my eyes tight.

"Please." My voice said, filled with anguish as the words were coarsed out of my mouth.

"Good girl." She said, her tone unchanged. _"Now stand up slowly and maintain civility." _She released my hand and I stood, slowly as she had said, and stared at her hatefully.

"Why are you here?" My voice was calm and somewhat sincere, though I was anything but. A little smile tugged on the side of her mouth.

"Why else not? To find you, dear Isabella." My body held back the snort I longed to release.

"You mean _Ingrid_ wanted to find me, don't you?" Though my voice was placid, I'm sure the sarcasm was clear. "Come on, Eunice, where is she?" Eunice became rigid and looked uncomfortable. Her eyes flashed sadness for a split-second and she lowered her gaze to the grass.

"I... I don't know. I was hoping she would be here, with you. Or, at least, you would know where she was." I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. I don't." I looked towards the woods curiously. "Are they here too?" She nodded, regaining her regal air.

"Helena, Caroline, Iris... all of them. We're all looking for her. I just... it's... it's unfortunate. It's difficult. Being without her, I mean." I understood completely. It must be hard for her, most of all.

"Where're Amelia and Henry?" I feared the worst. By now, I had begun to notice my muscles twitching and, slowly, her Persuation was wearing off.

"Amelia is at an inn with Henry watching over her." I loud growl ripped through the air and Alice lunged through the air at Eunice.

"Alice, don't!" I called, but it was already too late. Alice was pinned down by another figure of equal pixie-like size. Eunice and I leapt forward and attempted to pull them apart but Jasper and Emmett joined in.

"Caroline..." I screamed as I locked my arms under hers. "Get off!" I yanked her backwards, snarling and flailing in the air.

"Get _off_ of me, Isabella!" Her British tongue combined with growls flicked the words around like a badmitton birdie. I heard a fierce, throaty sound echo and I immediatly knew who it was. Eunice was knocked through the air along with an orange haired figure I had had yet to notice.

Edward was home.

And, from the looks of it, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie too. They were not happy.

* * *

**Yes, I know, cliffy.**

**You want to kill** **me don't you?**

**I figured as much.**

**But, though you may hate me, I LAVA JOO!!!!**

**Anyway, you know the drill.**

**Praises are adored.**

**Critisism is valued.**

**And flames will be used to burn Aro at the stake.**


End file.
